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How To Speak About Women And Be Politically Correct

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by pesticidal, Aug 22, 2002.

  1. pesticidal

    pesticidal Eh? CLM

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    HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

    She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
    She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE - She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT.
    She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.
    She is not HALF NAKED - She is WARDROBE IMPAIRED.
    She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.
    She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.
    She does not want to be MARRIED - She wants to lock you in DOMESTIC INCARCERATION.
    She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.
    She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
    She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
    She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
    She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
    She is not TOO SKINNY - She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT.
    She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE - She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE.
    She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS - She is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT.
    She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
    She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.
    She does not GET YOU EXCITED - She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.
    She is not KINKY - She is a NON-INHIBITED SEXUAL COMPANION.
    She does not have a KILLER BODY - She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.
    She does not GO SHOPPING - She is MALL FLUENT.
    She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
    She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
    She does not get FAT or CHUBBY - She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.
    She is not COLD or FRIGID - She is THERMALLY ACCESSIBLE.
    She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
    She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION.
    She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is GRAVITY RESISTANT.
    She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE
    She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
    She is not LOOSE - She is MORALLY IMPAIRED.
    She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
    She does not have THIN LIPS - She is COLLAGEN DEPENDENT.
     
  2. doubletap1

    doubletap1

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