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How to shower like a woman

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Righttoown, Jul 2, 2006.

  1. Righttoown

    Righttoown

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    How To Shower Like a Woman:
    >
    > Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according
    to
    > lights
    > and darks.
    >
    > Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
    >
    > If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
    >
    > Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do
    more
    > sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
    >
    > Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah
    wide
    > loofah
    > and pumice stone.
    >
    > Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
    vitamins.
    >
    > Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
    >
    > Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
    >
    > Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until
    red.
    >
    > Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
    >
    > Rinse conditioner off hair.
    >
    > Shave armpits and legs.
    >
    > Turn off shower.
    >
    > Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
    >
    > Spray mold spots with Tilex.
    >
    > Get out of shower.
    >
    > Dry with towel the size of a small country.
    >
    > Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
    >
    > Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
    >
    > If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
    >
    >
    >
    > How To Shower Like a Man:
    >
    > Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them
    in a
    > pile.
    >
    > Walk naked to the bathroom.
    >
    > If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the
    'woo-woo'
    > sound.
    >
    > Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
    >
    > Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
    >
    > Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
    >
    > Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
    >
    > Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
    >
    > Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
    >
    > Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
    >
    > Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.
    >
    > Rinse off and get out of shower.
    >
    > Partially dry off.
    >
    > Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub
    the
    > whole
    > time.
    >
    > Admire wiener size in mirror again.
    >
    > Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
    >
    > Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
    >
    > If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the
    woo-woo'
    > sound again.
    >
    > Throw wet towel on bed.
    >
    > If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind
    this,
    > there
    > is something so very wrong with you.
    >
    > Have a great day! And, "woo woo"!!!
    >
     
  2. Mathurian

    Mathurian Joyous Reaper

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  3. Glockdude1

    Glockdude1 Federal Member CLM

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  4. mnMACD

    mnMACD Non-Gunner

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    That was a riot, you have way too much free time.
     
  5. Brass Nazi

    Brass Nazi NO BRASS FOR U!

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  6. FisherHuntsmann

    FisherHuntsmann Wabbit Slayer

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  7. Red Dragon

    Red Dragon

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  8. DepDuke

    DepDuke Glockitall

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    WHOO HOOOO


    Wiggle wiggle
     
  9. srhoades

    srhoades

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    Wow. I thought I was the only person who blows his nose while in the shower.
     
  10. mnMACD

    mnMACD Non-Gunner

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    Does it matter which "nose" is blown

    :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:
     
  11. s10ryan

    s10ryan

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    old but still funny!
     
  12. mnMACD

    mnMACD Non-Gunner

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    damn right......... I'm crackaliscious bebe
     
  13. Brass Nazi

    Brass Nazi NO BRASS FOR U!

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  14. Jav21

    Jav21 NRA BTW ILA Silver Member

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