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I have a relative that calls me constantly. If I do not answer, they will just call 2 or 3 more times. When I take the call, they just want to ramble forever because they're bored. It gets to where I am sitting there just going "yup, uh huh" for a good 30 minutes sometimes. How do you deal with this? Should I just stop taking the calls? Sometimes I have wanted to get to where I just say "I don't have time for this, I have stuff to do." It feels like sometimes this person will try to invite themselves over. I keep saying that I can't eat fast food 2 or 3 times per week, and when I'm not working sometimes I just want to be by myself. Is that being rude? Should I just stop taking these calls?
 

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Relationship to you, brother, sister, father, mother, ...? Your job type? Where does this relative live in relationship to you (miles)?

These are important questions that will help shape the best solution.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Relationship to you, brother, sister, father, mother, ...? Your job type? Where does this relative live in relationship to you (miles)?

These are important questions that will help shape the best solution.
Aunt and she lives maybe 30 minutes away from my house.
 

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I have two in particular like that.. one is an old work partner and good friend... The other, one of my nieces.
They know I'm hard of hearing, so I sometimes use it as an "excuse" for not picking up. Both of them can talk about nothing for hours. So I 'feel your pain'. I love them dearly, but I do have a life too.
 

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Had a guy who would call me up and talk my ear off about computers, video cards, best ram, wanted my advice... trained him on what to look for, troubleshooting... You name it... at least an hour at a time!

THEN... He would invariably call me back wanting help with the parts he bought based on the advice of the "fireman", the "coworker"... ect... finally I started telling him "well why are you asking me? hit the guy up who gave you the 'great info' or call tech support for your parts"...

Now - I have been in the PC game for 30+ years now... and I finally cut him loose a couple years ago... There was a period of 6 months when he would call and leave messages "just have a quick question for you..." followed by about 3 months of calling and no messages.

GET THE TIME SUCKING LEACHES OUTTA YER LIFE... AND life will be better!

If I run into him some time I'll just say "Hey, I was really busy... Good to see ya, got to go!"

Cut em loose, and be freeeee!!!
:waving:
 

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One of the photographers I use from time to time talks too much. So much so that I had one of my regular customers actually complain about her, so I had to say something.
She seemed to take it as constructive criticism and finished the days work with no further comment.

The very next day, she texted me and said she had joined a support group like ALANON.
She said it was called ON N ON N ON. At least she had a sense of humor, but she still talks too much.
 

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When I take the call, they just want to ramble forever because they're bored.
I had a friend like that. He's passed on now, but in his prime he was good for at least an hour of talking about money. I'd try to say something and he would just talk over me. If it wasn't money, then it was guns. He was very knowledgeable about firearms, but it was always a one sided conversation. I'd just play solitaire on the computer and say uh huh and yup a lot.
 

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I have a relative that calls me constantly. If I do not answer, they will just call 2 or 3 more times. When I take the call, they just want to ramble forever because they're bored. It gets to where I am sitting there just going "yup, uh huh" for a good 30 minutes sometimes. How do you deal with this? Should I just stop taking the calls? Sometimes I have wanted to get to where I just say "I don't have time for this, I have stuff to do." It feels like sometimes this person will try to invite themselves over. I keep saying that I can't eat fast food 2 or 3 times per week, and when I'm not working sometimes I just want to be by myself. Is that being rude? Should I just stop taking these calls?
Put 'em on ignore.
 

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I tend to entertain the call, but lay boundaries at the beginning: "just so you know, I don't want to have to cut us short, but at 10:35 I am going to have to..."

Then I'll nump in later in the convo, "let me look at the time, oh good I still have 3 minutes until I have to hang up, what were you saying?"

That sets boundaries up front without having to squirm out of the call as it gets stale.
 

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My mom was like that, she would bore you to tears for 45 minutes. Our phone “conversations” were perhaps maybe every 3-4 weeks, and usually because I would call her to check on her. It was painful, but she was my mom, so I did it, and I remained pleasant and civil always.

I have 2 younger brothers who would not ever call her, and from what I have heard would cut her calls very short, like after 5 minutes “Gotta go, Goodbye” CLICK! Mom tried to return their cold shoulder/hostility/rudeness in her will. My sister who was the executor did not honor Mom’s final wishes.

Perhaps 10-12 years before mom passed I found out that I had an older half brother who had been put up for adoption (sealed) as a newborn. He managed to track down his siblings and started calling and talking to those of us who would take his calls. I tried to get to know him a bit, but he inherited mom’s talk you to death forever gene. I tolerated him for a while but he started to get aggressive in conversation and thought that he knew everything and no one else knew anything, even if the subject was that person’s profession. Add to that issue was that if you didn’t take his phone call his phone or computer would call you back every few minutes until you finally took the call. When asked about making 37 phone calls in the last hour and a half, he would deny everything. I had to tell him that I wanted nothing to do with him ever, that he was totally lacking in even minimal social graces and respect, and basically not someone that I was interested in knowing. This sent him right over the edge and he started making some passive threats towards both me and my mom (who wanted absolutely nothing to do with him ever). So I convinced him if he were to carry out any of those threats, especially just show up at my mom’s house, that I was fully capable of making sure that at a minimum he would wake up in a hospital, if he was lucky. And at that moment I was dead serious.


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These kinds of people should make YouTube videos. Give them a GoPro or just their iPhone and let them walk around and talk to it all day. Then they can edit it down and upload it, maybe make a buck or two from their ramblings.
Geico made a commercial about someone like this, she is one of their recurrent stars.


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These people may be lonely and simply trying to connect. Consider showing a bit of compassion and let them know when you have time to take a call from them rather than hiding behind dnd.
 

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I have an elderly neighbor lady and you guys are lucky. She rambled on for 2 hours and 18 minutes this evening. Since she calls on the landline I'm thinking of playing the ringtone on my cell phone and tell her I need to take the call, maybe let her ramble for 30 minutes or so. I hate to do it to her but damn.
 

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