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How to be a Democrat

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Easterbrook, Jan 25, 2007.

  1. Easterbrook

    Easterbrook Wagon Burner

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    In response to the “17 rules for being a Republican” thread, I came up with some rules of my own.

    As I have a bit of homework yet to do tonight, I was only able to come up with 8 rules. Let me know if you come up with any others or have any constructive suggestions.

    Just a quick 8 rules to bring you up to speed on what you need to believe to be a Democrat

    1. Paying people not to work, while taxing those who do work, is the best way to solve unemployment.

    2. All corporate CEOs are immoral, selfish, greedy people while politicians are honest, virtuous, selfless people who only have our nation’s best interest in mind.

    3. If you simply ignore terrorists, they’ll go away.

    4. Killing a baby one minute after its birth is homicide, but killing that same baby a minute earlier is a woman’s right.

    5. Although our nation’s best colleges and universities are private institutions, privatizing education does not work.

    6. Banning weapons from schools and other public places will make us all safer because would be armed robbers and murderers will respect the "No Weapons" sign.

    7. Our hospitals would run much better if run by the government, just like the DMV.

    8. Raising the minimum wage is a great idea because American employers will be eager to hire more American workers at this higher wage, as opposed to simply shipping those jobs overseas.
     
  2. ReyFufuRulesAll

    ReyFufuRulesAll Pantless Wonder

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    9. More laws means less criminals!

    10. guns kill people. The people shooting the guns, therefore, are not guilty and do not deserve punishment.

    11. If no one is ever punished, they will never become criminals.

    12. illegal immigration is not illegal.

    13. Punishing criminals is illegal.

    14. Society is at a point in which there should be no violence, so we should all sit around and smoke pot all day.

    15. Guns should be outlawed, and pot should be made legal.

    16. Clinton was the best president our nation ever had.

    17. The ozone layer was not deteriorating at all until the birth if the Ford Explorer.

    18. You can accomplish anything if you don't fight hard enough to get it.
     

  3. ReyFufuRulesAll

    ReyFufuRulesAll Pantless Wonder

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    originally posted by pdxbubba

     
  4. Mr Jingles

    Mr Jingles

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  5. 9jeeps

    9jeeps

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    Pretty much covers it!:thumbsup:
     
  6. Cody Jarrett

    Cody Jarrett

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    1. Blame the pen for failing the test.
    2. Blame Budweiser for the car accident.
    3. Blame the gun for the crime.
    4. Blame the cigarette for the cancer.
    5. Blame the boss for getting fired.
    6. Blame the cop for your ticket.
    7. Blame the victim for the rape.
    8. Blame the child for the abuse.
    9. Hug the thug.
    10. Punish the soldier for the war.

    But DON'T blame Ted kennedy for the death of Mary Jo.