Subject: how many light bulbs does it take a dog GOLDEN RETRIEVER The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb? BORDER COLLIE Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code. DACHSHUND You know I can't reach that stupid lamp! ROTTWEILER Make me. LABRADOR Oh me, me!!! Pleeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I please? GERMAN SHEPHERD I'll change it as soon as I lead these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to verify that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation. TIBETIAN TERRIER Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy. JACK RUSSELL TERRIER No prob, Dude. I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture. POODLE I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry. COCKER SPANIEL Why change it? In the dark I can pee on the carpet. DOBERMAN While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch. BOXER Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark. CHIHUAHUA Yo quiero Taco Bulb. POINTER I see it, there it is, there it is, right there. GREYHOUND It isn't moving. AUSTRALIAN SHEPHERD First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle . OLD ENGLISH SHEEP DOG Light bulb? I'm sorry, I don't see a light bulb. Did one burn out? HOUND ZZZZZzzzz.z.z.z.z.z THE CAT Dogs do not change light bulbs. People do. The question is, how long will it be before I can expect light in here? All of which proves, once again, that while dogs have masters, cats have staff.