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How is Jack Bauer Not Deaf?

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by certifiedfunds, Jul 16, 2012.

  1. certifiedfunds

    certifiedfunds Cosmopolitan Bias

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    Multiple firefights per 24 hour period, many of them indoors. Explosions. No ear protection. Yet he can still hear to talk on a flip phone.
     
  2. gwalchmai

    gwalchmai Lucky Member

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    Jack has special "blast doors" built into his ear canals which close in the first nanoseconds of an overpressure.
     

  3. stolenphot0

    stolenphot0 RTF2 Addict

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    Because he's Jack frackin Bauer. He taught Chuck Norris how to be Chuck Norris.
     
  4. Dennis in MA

    Dennis in MA Get off my lawn

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    He does seem to YELL "There's no time," so maybe he's deaf but can read lips. Would explain the loud shouting.
     
  5. dhoomonyou

    dhoomonyou

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    Chuck Norris wears jack Bauer pajamas
    With closed feet.
     
  6. jpa

    jpa CLM

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    but do they have the butt flap?
     
  7. Deanster

    Deanster Cheese? CLM Millennium Member

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    All I want for Christmas is Jack Bauer's cell phone. Everlasting battery. Perfect voice and data connection EVERYWHERE. In buildings, in tunnels, in helicopters, in bunkers.

    If I've been a good boy, Santa will also bring me his Cornucopia of a man-purse. It dispenses ammo, grenades, electronics, explosives, and tools while remaining slim, light and easy to carry. Only Hermione Granger's magical purse even comes close.
     
  8. Bren

    Bren NRA Life Member

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    Plenty of soldiers have spent plenty of time around shooting and explosions without earplugs. They have hearing loss, but not always serious. Hunters hunt and shoot their entire lives without earplugs.
     
  9. certifiedfunds

    certifiedfunds Cosmopolitan Bias

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    :rofl:Of course. I need to pay better attention
     
  10. glockurai

    glockurai

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    He has permanent auditory exclusion.

    Outdoor Hub mobile, the outdoor information engine
     
  11. mymini40

    mymini40

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    Look, its a movie, okay? Everything is scripted. Whatever they say or do is scripted!!!
     
  12. itstime

    itstime

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    His brain has noise canceling technology. Wish mine did. I even purchased the se gun he uses and I still have to use protection.
     
  13. stolenphot0

    stolenphot0 RTF2 Addict

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    well you just took the fun out of this :tongueout:
     
  14. Spiffums

    Spiffums I.C.P.

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    Like the people who kick crippled kids and tells them there's no Santa.
     
  15. srhoades

    srhoades

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    Don't forget that he is tortured to the point of death yet a few hours later he is just fine.
     
  16. stolenphot0

    stolenphot0 RTF2 Addict

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    Wait, there's no Santa? :crying:

    I bet he flew over Jack Bauer's air space and he brought him down with his USP.
     
  17. certifiedfunds

    certifiedfunds Cosmopolitan Bias

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    He's only pretending to be near death. He closes his eyes to hatch a plan.


    Outdoor Hub mobile, the outdoor information engine
     
  18. cowboy1964

    cowboy1964

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    "DAMNit!" - Jack Bauer
     
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2012
  19. Deanster

    Deanster Cheese? CLM Millennium Member

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    Jack Bauer orders a pizza: "This is BAUER, code 555-1212. We NEED a large PIZZA here, DAMMIT!!! Pepperoni perimeter, CHEESE blanket the ENTIRE area NOW NOW NOW!!!!

    YES, CASH!!!!!!
     
  20. larry_minn

    larry_minn Silver Member Millennium Member

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    I was amazed when IIRC China had him for almost a yr. Torture, drugs, venom, beatings, lack of food,water.....
    On release he is able to make pistol shots at rifle distance, work smart phones like a teen. Run for miles like he has been training for marathon.