How interested in your hubby or long-term SO in certain female matters?

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by MB-G26, Jun 18, 2007.

  1. MB-G26

    MB-G26 Ornery & Irreverent Lifetime Member

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    Example, you have your annual gyn check up scheduled.

    Is you hubby or long-term/serious SO/boyfriend interested in the results, in knowing whether everything is ok (tests, results, physical exam re any cysts, breast lumps, etc.)?

    If not, does this bother you in any way?

    What if it has been than 10-15 years since you have had any gyn medical attention, including pap smears, age-mandatory mammograms, etc.? What if you have current, and have had ongoing, problems in this area, or are perimenopausal, have wonky and difficult monthlies, significant PMS or PMDD?

    What would run through your mind if you were told not to further mention any 'girly' details relative to attending that appointment? What would you think was meant by that?
     
  2. c-mama

    c-mama

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    Having gone through 7 pregnancies, I am currently avoiding the gyn like the plague. ;)

    Last year I was dealing with painful cycles. Hubby encouraged me (more like stood over me until I made the call) to make an appointment with the gyn.

    I don't like doctors. I always feel looked down on when I go. So, when it's time to do something like that, I procrastinate.

    But hubby does encourage me. And he wanted to know what the doctor said after the visit.

    If I don't say anything is bothering me, though, he doesn't ask. But he is concerned about me if I bring something up to let him know that something is wrong.

    Make sense?
     

  3. Mrs. VR

    Mrs. VR Sharon, you will be missed.

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    Mel, if my Jay said that to me, I'd take it to mean "GET OFF YOUR BUTT AND GET SOMETHING DONE ABOUT IT, DARN IT!!!" I think they get frustrated when they can't "fix" whatever it is, and maybe it makes them anxious to talk about things they can't control? I know with my Jay's illness, I've wanted to talk everything to death, and he has NOT WANTED TO. :rollingeyes: I really think that's a lot to do with it. I think he's worried about you, and wants you to do what you have to to make sure you're ok.

    GET THEE TO A DOC! :hugs:
     
  4. kygungirl

    kygungirl

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    I hate doctors but my boyfriend not only tells me I have to go to the doc but he makes the appointment and then he takes me just to be sure that I go. And if I want him to he would go back there with me. He's great and he takes care of me.

    He is a lot better than my Ex husband who when he found out a couple of years ago that I had cervial cancer he told me not to worry that I could be replaced if I died and that he would find our daughter a new mom. he was a jerk.

    My new guy is a keeper.
     
  5. sweetatergal

    sweetatergal

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    I usually don't share results unless anything is wrong. As long as everything comes out normal, eh, I don't mention it. But if something was to be wrong, I can tell him and he would be supportive and make sure that I get something done about it. When he thinks something is wrong, he will usually speak up and insist that I go to the doc and get it checked out. :supergrin:

    Mel, I hope everything is ok!!!!! :hugs: :hugs: :hearts: :hearts:
     
  6. MB-G26

    MB-G26 Ornery & Irreverent Lifetime Member

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    I'm not exactly sure what was meant by 'girly details'.

    It's not like I intended to later describe, step by step, the actual exam and such! Jeez......

    Oh! kygungirl!! I think the ex you mentioned, and my ex, may be related :upeyes: :hugs: :hugs:

    I guess I'm just not sure what to make of his statement. The appt isn't until tommorrow afternoon, and even then, it won't be a situation where a mammo w/be done the same day and such. *Groan* like I'm looking forward to being 'referred to' here, there, and everywhere for mammo and any other tests.

    Maybe my more insecure, vulnerable side would have just felt better hearing something that, on its face, sounded a bit more supportive. I've put off such an appt. literally for more than a decade, originally because of two successive losses of insurance - which meant I couldn't go to the female ob/gyn I'd seen since I was pregnant w/kiddo (18-odd yrs. ago). Just picking some stranger's name off a stupid HMO list, especially when I couldn't even pronounce most of the names listed!, just didn't cut it.

    So I just stopped thinking about it and didn't go, for all this time.

    As I stare 50 in the face, I just KNOW I'm going to hear a bunch of 'you need to this, and you need that tested, and you need to call and find your old mammo films and drive all over town in the heat to pick them up and bring them to a mammo appt...blah...blah'.

    As bad as my fibro is today (heck, I'm only just now out of bed, was supposed to take the car BACK to the repair shop again today and it ain't gonna get done) maybe I'll just have to cancel the appt. and worry about it some other time.

    Plegh.
     
  7. Zonny

    Zonny

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    :fist: If you cancel that appt. I'm gonna drag your scrawny little butt in there myself!!! :wavey:

    Don't you DARE!!!
     
  8. MB-G26

    MB-G26 Ornery & Irreverent Lifetime Member

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    Well.....in further developments, got any good ideas how I can drive the Esquirt to the appt with the teliot taped to my butt? IOW, w/in the last 2 hrs. I think I discovered why I woke up feeling worse than if the driver of the truck that hit me had also scraped me up from underneath the wheels & kicked me to the side.

    Have I mentioned recently that chronic colitis is really the pitz? :upeyes:
     
  9. Glockgirl26

    Glockgirl26

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    Damn Mel...I hope you get feeling better and it goes all right.:hugs: Sorry to hear that you're feeling poorly.

    Referencing the original question, my SO is a talker by nature so he's always 'encouraging' me to talk to him more than I do. If I had a problem or a concern he would certainly listen and be supportive, he usually is when I'm having a health issue. Though he knows some of them I'm just uncomfortable having to discuss in too much detail, he just wants to know that I'm all right.
     
  10. SouthernGal

    SouthernGal What's Up Dox?

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    I do believe that you and I have had more than our fair share of experience with this issue. Thank God in my case it was only in caring for someone with it, rather than having it myself. The stuff is a nightmare!

    I feel pretty confident in saying that if the SO knew I was having issues, he'd be down my throat for me to find out what was going on, even if he had drag me to the doctor himself.
     
  11. kcb

    kcb Southern Lady

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    My husband is more than supportive. He knows me well and knows when something is wrong. Even if I try to let it go, he is very observant and questions me.

    He has gone with me and had "Come to God" talks with doctors when they don't seem to listen to me. He has always been right there and
    WANTS to know.

    He knows, if I feel something, they ALWAYS find something wrong. I've shocked doctors several times! Thank God, it's never been anything serious or life threatening!

    Yes, my husband is interested. He is definitely a keeper!

    :hearts:

    Mel! Go to your appointment, Sweetie! You can't afford NOT to go!!!
    Early detection and preventive medicine is your best medical care!!!

    :hugs:
     
  12. Mrs. VR

    Mrs. VR Sharon, you will be missed.

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    ugh, Mel, Im hoping you recover quickly :hugs:

    On the original topic, I think sometimes we're just wired differently. You need support, you got it here, sweetie. :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
     
  13. MrsKitty

    MrsKitty

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  14. MB-G26

    MB-G26 Ornery & Irreverent Lifetime Member

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    I actually made it to the appt.

    GG26 - LOL! I read this as "my SO is a stalker by nature" TWICE! :rofl: Someday when I win the damn lottery, I'll get new bi-focals! :supergrin:

    No masses palpated, nurse practitioner was a bit surprised when I predicted a swap would immediately test positive for yeast. :upeyes: It's a never-ending battle, that - more oh-so-enjoyable characteristics of fibro. ::groan::

    So, wait a wk, get a call, call some mystery series of Secret Squirrel numbers and get the pap results. Oh hum.

    She did write a referral/order for a mammo.... but that can wait for a bit until my calendar clears up.

    A certain someone asked on the phone today about the appt., wanting to know basically 'how things went'. I laughed and told him I hadn't intended on making him suffer through a detailed description of the exam! :animlol:

    Next time I'm feeling low about something medical, I guess I'll just demand, "I need some warm fuzzies now, damnit!" :tongueout:
     
  15. fnfalman

    fnfalman Chicks Dig It

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    A non-physician man shouldn't need to know about the particulars of various female problems. It does neither the woman nor the man good for him to know about pap smears, speculums and other female hygiene related stuff. Trust me, you DO NOT want us to know. Because we'd be repulsed and turn ghey.
     
  16. Zonny

    Zonny

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    Glad you made it Mel. Half of the battle is making the appt. :thumbsup:

    Don't wait too long to schedule the mammo. The place I go is about 3 months out. Go figure. :wavey:
     
  17. Glockgirl26

    Glockgirl26

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    Well, I have referred to him as my #1 Stalker in the past, so you weren't too far off...
    :rofl:
     
  18. MB-G26

    MB-G26 Ornery & Irreverent Lifetime Member

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    :upeyes: :chatter: :notlistening:
     
  19. AZ DBLTRBL

    AZ DBLTRBL Out Of Order CLM

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    My hubby is pretty good about not asking about my appts. If I say nothing, he assumes nothing is wrong. 3 yrs ago I had my annual "squish my boob into pancake form" test and the radiologist called me back and let me know I had "what he thought" was cancer in both breasts and that I needed a double biopsy. He just scared the beejesus out of me. I drove from my appt to Ken's work and the moment he saw me he knew something was wrong. Now, he never had asked me before how all my "girly" appts went....but this time he was my hero. I told him what the radiologist said and I was doing all I could not to cry...he just took over. He called my Gyn and got a referral to a breast surgeon, scheduled me for the double biopsies, just basically took my problem over.

    Long story short, both biopsies came back fine. The thing that still gets me is I TOLD my Dr. (the surgeon) that I wanted to be called DIRECTLY with my results....and he told her "NO you call ME with the results first..." so he was the first one she called. When I phoned him he just said "I know baby, you're just fine...."
    I think he was too afraid to let anyone else tell me any bad news...he determined to be the one if it came to that.


    LISTEN - It's not OK if someone you deeply love is not involved in your health. When you sign up for the "total comittment package" that comes with it. Look at Mrs. VR and what they are going thru....do you think for one moment she would NOT want to be involved with what her husband is going thru?!? Comittment costs - don't sign up if you don't have the funds....

    What would run through your mind if you were told not to further mention any 'girly' details relative to attending that appointment? What would you think was meant by that? [/QUOTE]

    I would have to wonder why I am with this person who can't be bothered by the realities of my life...you deserve someone who is involved with EVERY aspect of your life. I hope I am not offending you by saying this....
     
  20. AZ DBLTRBL

    AZ DBLTRBL Out Of Order CLM

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    And let me tell you what....after my little 34B boobies scared me that bad I just threw down the gauntlet.....damn you boobies! You want to give me this much damn grief, then I am going to do something I have always wanted to do and upgrade. ....I guess I felt like, if someday I may loose them, I want to enjoy them while I'm still an owner....;)