How Busy are You?

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by SCmasterblaster, Feb 11, 2004.

  1. SCmasterblaster

    SCmasterblaster G17 carrier since 1989 Millennium Member

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    We need another list of one-liners . . .

    I'll start it off with:

    I've been busier than a pair of jumper cables at a State of Mississippi car auction!
     
  2. fastvfr

    fastvfr Ancient Tech

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    Well, I've been busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest!
     

  3. Jam Master Jay

    Jam Master Jay Rockcrawler

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    I've been busier than a one-armed wallpaper hanger.
     
  4. GlockBlocker

    GlockBlocker Texas Aggie

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    Busier than a dike in a hardware store. ;i
     
  5. rlfjr

    rlfjr NRA Life Member

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    Busier than a three-balled tomcat ....
     
  6. calzoom

    calzoom

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    I've been busier than a buzz saw in a pine knot!;f
     
  7. GlockBlocker

    GlockBlocker Texas Aggie

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    Man, you guys are posting terrible ones so far!

    "Busy as a hooker on 25 cent BJ night!"

    (Mods, feel free to edit my post if you must, but if someone knows what BJ is, then...well, they probably already know. ;) )
     
  8. scowan007

    scowan007 memberrific!!!

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    busier than Michael Jackson's plastic surgeon.
     
  9. scowan007

    scowan007 memberrific!!!

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    More stressed out than Michael Moore's belt.
     
  10. Grog

    Grog Millennium Member

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    Busier than a three legged cat trying to bury a turd on an icy lake.

    Madder than Jesse Jackson having to answer the white courtesy phone at the airport.

    Madder than a skinhead watching The Jeffersons.


    Larry thr cable guy is my favorite :)
     
  11. vafish

    vafish

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    More confused than a hungry baby in a topless bar.
     
  12. GlockBlocker

    GlockBlocker Texas Aggie

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    Busy as a nun in a cucumber patch. ;P ;e
     
  13. milkdud

    milkdud

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    Busier than Bill Clinton interviewing a new group of interns.;u ;u
     
  14. J Sand

    J Sand Lost cause

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    Playing Hide and Seek...
    Hahaha...that just made my night.;i ;a
     
  15. pdxbubba

    pdxbubba

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    Are you ready for this???

    IBT a five dollar hooker
    IBT a Jehovah's Witness at Doors Unlimited
    IBT a prostitute in a prison
    IBT O.J. Simpson in a pair of Bruno Maglis
    IBT a whorehouse on nickel night
    IBT a three-legged cat trying to bury turds on a frozen pond
    IBT Michael Jackson in a day care center
    IBT Richard Simmons on a fat farm
    IBT an L.A. hooker in Hugh Grant's BMW
    IBT Newt Gingrich in a college classroom
    IBT a toilet in Grand Central Station
    IBT a gopher on a golf course
    IBT a bar of soap in San Quentin
    IBT Ted Kennedy at happy hour
    IBT a condom dispenser in Greenwich Village
    IBT a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs
    IBT a woman in a mall with her husband's credit card
    IBT the only man in a Mormon household
    IBT Bill Clinton in the Oval Office with a White House intern
    IBT Imelda Marcos in a shoe store
    IBT Kato Kaelin in an open house
    IBT Anita Hill during a lie detector test
    IBT Mike Tyson at a beauty pagent
    IBT A nine year-old in a Kathie Lee sweatshop
    IBT a bo-weevil in an Arkansas corn field
    IBT a rat in a dumpster
    IBT Pee Wee Herman in a porno theatre
    IBT a frog during fly time
    IBT a necrophiliac in a morgue
    IBT a shoeshine boy in a sandstorm
    IBT a weasel in a henhouse
    IBT Captain Kirk with three-breasted hookers on Risa
    IBT a vegetarian at a salad bar
    IBT Marion Barry in a crackhouse
    IBT a nearsighted Mexican trying to pick up five pounds of spilled jumping beans
    IBT a phone sex girl talking to Bud Bundy
    IBT a seagull in a landfill
    IBT a pETA member at a baby seal harvest
    IBT Saint Peter after a nuclear war
    IBT a cop in a Dunkin' Donuts
    IBT an engineer at a Star Trek convention
    IBT The Unabomber in a mail room
    IBT a defense lawyer for the Dallas Cowboys
    IBT an ant colony at a company picnic
    IBT a fly buzzing around a horse's ***
    IBT a pigeon in a parking lot
    IBT white trash at a Wal-Mart
    IBT a gynecologist at the Miss America Pagent
    IBT Gallagher in a produce market
    IBT a heroin dealer in Seattle
    IBT Frank Gifford when Kathie Lee's not around
    IBT a lawyer at the scene of a 20-car pileup
    IBT Al Gore at a Buddhist temple fundraiser
    IBT a nymphomaniac in a porno movie
    IBT a 10-year old with a slingshot in a window factory
    IBT a pyromaniac in a forest fire
    IBT a teenage girl with her first private phone line
    IBT George Michael in a Beverly Hills restroom
    IBT a tornado in a trailer park
    IBT a Y2K programmer on New Year's Eve 1999
    IBT Robert Downey Jr.'s parole officer
    IBT an accountant on April 14th
    IBT a dancer in a Dr. Pepper commercial
    IBT a GOP victory party organizer in 2002
    IBT a ten tick dog
    IBT a knothole on a pirate ship's plank at party time
    IBT a one-legged man stomping out a grass fire
    IBT the paper shredders at Enron Headquarters
    IBT a set of jumper cables at an inner city wedding
    IBT Madelyne Toogood in a room full of screaming children
    IBT Winona Ryder with a pair of scissors in a Saks Fifth Avenue
    IBT a stripper at a viagra party
    IBT Chief Charles Moose looking for a white sniper suspect
    IBT a one-toothed man in a corn-on-the-cob eating contest
    IBT an AIDS tester at a hairdressers' convention
    IBT Jesse Jackson at a race riot
    IBT Rush Limbaugh's pharmacist
    IBT Uday Hussein in a torture chamber
    IBT Sally Struthers in a third world country
    IBT Pedro Martinez at an old folk's home
    IBT Gray Davis on a spending spree
    IBT an orthopedic surgeon in Belfast, Ireland
    IBT a one-eyed man at a burlesque show
    IBT CBS apologizing for the Superbowl halftime show
     
  16. Jack T.

    Jack T.

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    Busier than a bob-tailed cow swatting flies.
     
  17. okie

    okie GT Mayor

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    Slicker then whale crap on an ice flow;f
     
  18. GSD17

    GSD17 Thread Killer

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    welp, he pretty much named them all
     
  19. GSD17

    GSD17 Thread Killer

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    not IBT, but.... "YOU ARE SLOWER THAN A HERD OF TURTLES STAMPEDING THROUGH PEANUT BUTTER"
     
  20. Wmarden

    Wmarden

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    I'm busier than a pooper scooper during campaign season.

    I'm busier than hillary clinton's paper shredder.

    I'm busier than a catholic priest at a boy scout camp.

    I'm busier than a bead factory at marde gras.

    I'm busier than Pee wee herman's hand at the movie theater.

    I'm busier than Michael moore's personal chef.

    I'm busier than a Chinese business man giving bribes during the clinton years.

    I'm busier than a tabloid reporter making up lies.

    I'm more stressed than a 90 pound woman with a 500 pound husband.(and yes I know of a couple somewhat near those specs)

    I'm angrier than a democrat who did not get to **** somebody's rights.

    I'm angrier than Bill Clinton with no interns.

    I'm more screwed up than Howard Dean and Ralph nader combined.