How bout a joke?

Discussion in 'Hunting, Fishing & Camping' started by DTD2, Nov 23, 2005.

  1. DTD2

    DTD2 vote or die

    Messages:
    72
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2005
    Location:
    S.E. Wisconsin
    A man and his friend were hunting deer near a highway in rural Wisconsin .

    A huge buck walked by, and the hunter carefully drew his bow and took
    careful aim. Before he could release his arrow, his friend alerted him to a funeral procession passing on the road below their stand.

    The hunter slowly let off the pressure on his bow, took off his hat, bowed his head, and closed his eyes in prayer.

    His friend was amazed. He said, "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are the kindest man I have ever known."

    The hunter shrugged and said, "Yeah, well, we were married for 35
    years."

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------

    Have a great day,
    D2
     
  2. f1b32oPTic

    f1b32oPTic R4d104c71v3

    Messages:
    861
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2003
    Location:
    up close & personal

  3. lomfs24

    lomfs24

    Messages:
    2,388
    Likes Received:
    144
    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2003
    Location:
    Montana
    Two guys were out hunting when they became separated. It was not uncommon so Joe was not concerned. A few hours later he started to look for his friend Jim. He found Jim laying on the ground and he appeared to be dead. Joe begins to panic and he dials 911 on his phone. When the operator answers Jim begins to stammer that his friend is dead. The operator says "Don't panic. The first thing we need to do is make sure that he is dead."

    Jim says. "OK" and the phone goes silent for a moment and then the operator hears on the phone "BOOM...BOOM".

    ;z
     
  4. kalashnikovluvr

    kalashnikovluvr

    Messages:
    203
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2005
    Location:
    Maryland
    ;z

    with friends like that who needs ememies?
     
  5. Taipei Personality

    Taipei Personality

    Messages:
    1,002
    Likes Received:
    381
    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2000
    Location:
    N35 46.986 W078 38.133
    Blake and Reginald, two fellows from the city, decide to go deer hunting. They head off to the nearest outfitter and get fitted up with all of the finest gear. They read books on how to hunt and what to do with deer once you’ve shot them. Finally ready, they head off to the woods. They park their Escalade at the side of a mountain road and start down the slope, about 100 yards apart.

    About half-way down, Reginald trips over a root and, as he was carrying his rifle with a round chambered, safety off, and his finger on the rigger, he lets off a round accidentally killing a chipmunk who happened to be in the way. Excited to show Blake his manly prowess as a hunter, Reginald pockets what’s left of the chipmunk and proceeds at a rapid pace toward his friend.

    Blake, hearing the crashing through the brush decides to try for a “sound shot”. Running up to claim his trophy Blake is horrified to see that he has shot Reginald. Blake gathers up his buddy and rushes back up the slope, gets in the Escalade, and races back down the mountain to the closest hospital.

    The medical staff rush Reginald into surgery. Blake spends the next hour pacing back and forth in the waiting room. Finally, a blood-covered surgeon appears.

    “Doc!” cries Blake, “Were you able to save my dear friend?”

    Well,” replies the surgeon, “We probably could have if you hadn’t gutted him!”
     
  6. m1shooter

    m1shooter

    Messages:
    34
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2005
    Location:
    Phoenix, AZ
    Four friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an ten-point buck.

    "Where's Billy Bob?"

    "Billy Bob had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail."

    "You left Billy Bob laying out there and carried the deer back?"

    "A tough call," nodded the hunter "but I figured no one, in their right mind, is going to steal Billy Bob."
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------
    A couple of rednecks are out in the woods hunting when one of them suddenly grabs his chest and falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing: his eyes are rolled in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "I think Bubba is dead! What should I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy and follow my instructions. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is silence....and then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line, "Okay, now What?"
    --------------------------------------------------------------------

    TOP TEN WAYS TO PISS OFF YOUR HYPOCRITICAL, PETA-SUPPORTING NYC NEIGHBORS:

    10. Drive down Broadway with your deer tied to the hood of your car.
    9. Hang your unbutchered kill from your fire escape to drain.
    8. Show off your fashionable new deerhide moccasins.
    7. Use the politically correct paradox--invite them over for a low-fat, low-cholesterol venison dinner.
    (Be sure to play "Bambi" on your VCR afterwards.)
    6. Don't shower after four days in the woods.
    5. Mount your deerhead over your fireplace.
    4. Set out your hunting magazines on your coffee table.
    3. Ask them if you can take their dog hunting with you.
    2. Ask them if you can take their children hunting with you.
    And our number one way to piss off your do-gooder, hypocritical, PETA-supporting NYC neighbors:
    1. Join the NRA.