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Hogs

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Jan 18, 2004.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

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    Honorable Secretary of Agriculture
    Washington, D.C.

    Dear Sir;

    My friend, Ed Peterson, over at Wells Iowa, received a check for $1,000 from the government for not raising hogs. So, I want to go into the "not raising hogs" business next year.

    What I want to know is, in your opinion, what is the best kind of farm not to raise hogs on, and what is the best breed of hogs not to raise? I want to be sure that I approach this endeavor in keeping with all governmental policies. I would prefer not to raise razorbacks, but if that is not a good breed not to raise, then I will just as gladly not raise Yorkshires or Durocs.

    As I see it, the hardest part of this program will be in keeping an accurate inventory of how many hogs I haven't raised.

    My friend, Peterson, is very joyful about the future of the business. He has been raising hogs for twenty years or so, and the best he ever made on them was $422 in 1968, until this year when he got your check for $1000 for not raising hogs.

    If I get $1000 for not raising 50 hogs, will I get $2000 for not raising 100 hogs? I plan to operate on a small scale at first, holding myself down to about 4000 hogs not raised, which will mean about $80,000 the first year. Then I can afford an airplane.

    Now another thing, these hogs I will not raise will not eat 100,000 bushels of corn. I understand that you also pay farmers for not raising corn and wheat. Will I qualify for payments for not raising wheat and corn not to feed the 4000 hogs I am not going to raise?

    Also, I am considering the "not milking cows" business, so send me any information you have on that too.

    In view of these circumstances, you understand that I will be totally unemployed and plan to file for unemployment and food stamps.

    Be assured you will have my vote in the coming election.

    Patriotically Yours,
     
  2. NashvilleG23

    NashvilleG23

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    The sad thing is this really happens.;g
     

  3. Guest

    Would somebody ming explaining why the government would do a fool thing like that? :(
     
  4. Edge

    Edge Millennium Member

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    The joke is kinda funny, but real life isn't exactly as the joke goes.

    The entire farm subsidy system is poorly understood. A large part of the USDA budget actually goes toward the WIC program. WIC stands for Women Infants Children. It is a very good program that promotes adequate nutrition during the critical period from birth to 5 years of age. OK. That is one thing.

    Another... Consider the impact of agriculture on this country. Insignificant? If memory serves, it is our largest trade export (important if we consider that constant trade deficit) and the basis for many of our larger industries and jobs (including many people who probably never even realize it). Consider that the number of farmers has declined at a very rapid pace. You know why? Because most of them are going broke. I know many who have. They are caught in the middle between seed / chemical / equipment virtual monopolies such as DuPont and grain purchasing monopolies such as ADM. And the farmer does most of the work and takes most of the risk. They buy retail and sell wholesale after investing all they can borrow in land and machinery.

    How about food safety and national security?

    Much of our out of season produce comes from third world countries where their production / safety standards are far lower. If memory serves, there was a hepatitis a few years ago related to strawberries grown in Mexico. The field workers urinated and defecated in the fields. The fields were irrigated from a ditch. Guess what was included in the runoff? Guess where the runoff went to from the fields? Yep. Into the ditch to be sprayed back on to those lovely strawberries at the corner market so you could eat fresh strawberries in winter.

    OK, but national security? Think of the impact if we depended upon other countries for food like we do for oil. How about a $10 dollar hamburger? Think about the potential economic impact if our agriculture industry was destroyed for a year. Think about what a great way to impact a lot of people with little risk if you contanimated the food supply affecting schools, hospitals, everyone.

    Just like it is the public's best interest to ensure some level of health care and military, it is also in the nation's best interests to help ensure a viable agriculture industry.

    Just FWIW... I and my family have farmed, I work in the public health field, and I have attended a lot of trainings on bioterrorism. That doesn't mean I'm an expert on any of those things, but I know more than most on all three.
     
  5. Edge

    Edge Millennium Member

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    I probably got carried away and didn't proof so I now see a couple typos. Oh well. The joke is a very, very simplified version of what actually happens. I can explain it all in much more depth if someone ones, but does that little bit kina help explain why the government should support the ag industry?