Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by ChuteTheMall, May 22, 2004.

  1. ChuteTheMall

    ChuteTheMall Wallbuilder and Weapon Bearer

    Likes Received:
    Aug 20, 2000
    Colluder in Cahoots
    Southern slang, or "Hickphonics," as a language
    is to be taught in all Southern schools.
    Here are excerpts from the Hickphonics/ English dictionary:

    HEIDI - noun. Greeting.

    HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage: "Heidi. Hire yew."

    BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

    JAWJUH - noun. A state just north of Florida. Capital is Hot-lanta. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."

    MUNTS - noun. A calendar division. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."

    FAR - noun. A conflagration. Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."

    BAHS - noun. A supervisor. Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far you!"

    TIRE - noun. A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eye-full Tire in Paris sometime."

    RETARD - Verb. To stop working. Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."

    TARRED - adverb. Exhausted. Usage: "I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred."

    ARE - pronoun. Possessive case of we used as a predicate adjective.

    RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege. Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."

    FARN - adjective. Not local. Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country."

    DID - adjective. Not alive. Usage: "He's did, Jim."

    EAR - noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA). Usage: "He cain't breathe ... give 'im some ear!"

    BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

    JEW HERE - Noun and verb contraction. Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"

    HAZE - a contraction. Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze ignert."

    SEED - verb, past tense. Usage: "Bubba seed are bard pick-up."

    GUMMIT - Noun. A bureaucratic institution. Usage: "Them gummit boys shore are ignert."
  2. Blast

    Blast 'nuff said

    Likes Received:
    Aug 2, 2002
    NKY/Cincinnati area
    ;z ;z ;z

    How's 'bout "TAR" and "ARN"

    "My pappy whapped me wit duh tar arn."

  3. Sharkmeat


    Likes Received:
    May 20, 2004
    Washington State
    I love it! ;z

    Strikes a little close to home, though... ;g