Southern slang, or "Hickphonics," as a language is to be taught in all Southern schools. Here are excerpts from the Hickphonics/ English dictionary: HEIDI - noun. Greeting. HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage: "Heidi. Hire yew." BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck." JAWJUH - noun. A state just north of Florida. Capital is Hot-lanta. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck." MUNTS - noun. A calendar division. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts." FAR - noun. A conflagration. Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far." BAHS - noun. A supervisor. Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far you!" TIRE - noun. A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eye-full Tire in Paris sometime." RETARD - Verb. To stop working. Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65." TARRED - adverb. Exhausted. Usage: "I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred." ARE - pronoun. Possessive case of we used as a predicate adjective. RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege. Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats." FARN - adjective. Not local. Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country." DID - adjective. Not alive. Usage: "He's did, Jim." EAR - noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA). Usage: "He cain't breathe ... give 'im some ear!" BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence." JEW HERE - Noun and verb contraction. Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?" HAZE - a contraction. Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze ignert." SEED - verb, past tense. Usage: "Bubba seed are bard pick-up." GUMMIT - Noun. A bureaucratic institution. Usage: "Them gummit boys shore are ignert."