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Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Apr 7, 2004.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

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    Location:
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    > Newspaper Headlines in 2035
    >
    > Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest
    country in the world, California.
    >
    > White minorities still trying to have English recognized as California's
    third
    language.
    >
    > Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops &livestock.
    >
    > Baby conceived naturally.... scientists stumped.
    >
    > Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the
    Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon.)
    >
    > Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more
    years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
    >
    > Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally,
    but
    President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
    >
    > George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
    >
    > Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces
    mail
    delivery to Wednesday only.
    >
    > A 35-year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
    >
    > Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
    >
    > Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
    >
    Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.
    >
    > Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
    >
    > Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it
    crashes BEFORE installation is completed.
    >
    > New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly
    swatters,
    and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
    >
    > Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to
    campaign accounts.
    >
    > IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%
    >
    > Average price of a single family home in Southern California is
    $2,500,000.
    and a three bedroom apartment now rents for $8,000 a month.
    >
    > Celebrating Christmas now officially a felony as it offends too many
    people.."