Headlines In The Yeah 2035

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by burtgop23, Sep 16, 2002.

  1. burtgop23

    burtgop23 Guest

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    Oct 11, 2001
    Headlines In The Year 2035

    Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California.

    White minorities still trying to have English recognized as California's third official language.

    Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops & livestock.

    Baby conceived naturally.... Scientists stumped.

    Authentic year 2000 "chad" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6 million.

    Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon.)

    Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

    Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

    George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

    Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only.

    Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

    Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.

    Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

    Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed.

    New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

    IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%.
  2. MarksGlock22

    MarksGlock22 The Punisher

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    Mar 4, 2002
    Not funny,This is probably close to the truth.

  3. LewisQ

    LewisQ Guest

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    May 23, 2002
    I wouldn't mind the part about Iraq and the American Territories of the Middle East :)

    As far as the others go, I hope it remains a joke!