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Has your mom or dad ever said anything totally unexpected?

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by Smashy, Jan 30, 2010.

  1. Smashy

    Smashy

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    My mom is in her 70s and she's a semi-retired preacher (she still teaches classes and does sermons every so often when invited to by the church). My parents grew up in England in the 1930s-40s. They're very conservative (especially my dad; don't get him started on Obama). But they've never been into guns, just not interested. I learned shooting on my own as an adult because my dad isn't into it. They're fine with me being into guns, because they know how much I enjoy it. It just doesn't interest them.

    Anyway, we were having dinner at their house last Sunday, and the conversation turned to the goings on in Haiti. News of all the looting and fighting, people robbing each other and beating each other up and so on. My mom put her fork down and said "There's only one way to deal with situations like that. They need to make a law where if anyone is looting or robbing or hurting other people, they should just be shot on sight!" :shocked:

    That was completely unexpected. I guess being a woman of a 'higher calling', so to speak, doesn't mean you don't have the common sense to deal with reality. The only thing I could think of to say was "Give that lady a gun!" :supergrin:

    Has your mom or dad ever floored you with something you never expected to hear?
     
  2. Lone Wolf8634

    Lone Wolf8634 :):

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    Yup. My MIL.

    I was working in the oilfield, just outside Midwest, Wy. We'd just finished converting a regular well to a downhole pump and were rigging down, while folding the workfloor up to the derrick the chain snapped and it fell.... on me.

    After an uncomfortable ambulance ride, I was laying in the ER. They had given me about 1500mg of demerol(sp) and I was a bit out of it. They aready found the worst of my injuries but wanted to see if I had damaged my kidneys, since the floor hit me in the back. So of course they needed a urine sample.

    Now, I knew I needed to go, and I Knew what they wanted, I was just so high I couldnt put the two together. I kept insisting they let me use the bathroom first and then I would give them their sample. My wife, the nurse and the doc went out into the hall to either laugh at me or discuss catheterizing me. Or both.

    My mom in law stayed in the room with me. Now you have to understand, my dear MIL is a churchgoing straightlaced prim and proper Lady (with the capital "L"). She berated my wife and I for living together for 2 years. I never had heard the first curse word or any harsh language escape her lips in the entire time I had known her. If you would have asked me at the time I would have told you that IMO she would die of embarrassment were she to be overheard saying "dang" under her breath.

    So I'm laying there, and she bends over and speaks very softly in my ear.

    "Larry, if you dont pi$$ in that bottle for them, they're gonna come back in here and stick a big, giant tube right up your d***. ":shocked:

    Suddenly, I got it!!

    When everyone returned I was only to eager to fill the bottle. My wife asked her mom how she got me to cooperate and MIL just chuckled and said. "I just spoke to him in a language he understands."
     

  3. Historian

    Historian NRA Benefactor Lifetime Member

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    Recently my rather prim and proper 70 year-old mother mentioned at a Thanksgiving dinner that she had seen a "adult" movie while staying in a German hotel the previous vacation. Then proceeded to mention the "gifted" nature of the actors.

    You could have head a pin drop at that one.

    Then she went on about my uncle an her sister and how he managed to get charged for his viewing...and complained about the price.

    The same pin apparently bounced as we heard it twice.

    Mom has done this type of thing about once or twice a year since I as born. :supergrin:

    We had some Cuban friends once. Nice people. Theirs son had seriously blond hair.

    After a drink she blurted out, "How do you account for your son's hair?"

    I just about feel on the ground when the guest blurted out, "Milkman;" as my mother responded, "Oh do they still make deliveries?"
     
  4. doktor doom

    doktor doom

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    I'm a native New Orleanian. My parents, then in their late 60's, still lived there when Katrina rolled through. My dad had to be rescued off the roof of his house. They have never been gun people, in the sense that many of us here are. Sure, I was given pellet guns as a child, and was taken hunting as an adolescent, and we had an old Ithaca 37 pump and a .22 in the house, but my parents have always been anti-handgun, and still do not approve of my owning handguns or "assault rifles." Their belief is that guns should only be used for hunting delicious animals, or perhaps for games of skill, like clay pigeons. To use them against humans was anathema to them. They were very much of the mind "just give the criminal what they want, and they'll go away. No money or watch or car is worth your life."

    That kind of changed after The Storm. When my dad and uncles were fixing to go back afterwards and do the demolition on their house, I suggested to my mom that they take some shotguns down with them. She said "That's not a bad Idea. I think they should too."
    I guess it's never too late to learn.:supergrin:
     
  5. Historian

    Historian NRA Benefactor Lifetime Member

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    :rofl:
     
  6. DEADLYACCURATE

    DEADLYACCURATE Senior Member

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    :rofl:
     
  7. doktor doom

    doktor doom

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    I was visiting my grandmother once at her assisted living place. She was about 93, and a testament to the correlation between good clean country livin' and good health, but her mind had begun to fade a bit when she hit 90 or so. She had always been a staunch Republican (honestly, anyone who is born in her little county in south Illinois is given a lifelong Republican registration, pretty much), but was always very prim, proper, and mannerly when it came to politics- she was the "agree to disagree", why let something so divisive as political opinions spoil a nice family dinner type.

    Well, we were watching TV and Jimmy Carter came on, shilling for the Palestinians or something ( this was '03 or so). My grandmother saw him and let loose a blue streak of profanity that was better suited to a Marine than a grandma! Talk about my jaw hitting the floor! It's all unprintable here, but I can still remember it.
     
  8. DEADLYACCURATE

    DEADLYACCURATE Senior Member

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    :rofl:
     
  9. Glock20 10mm

    Glock20 10mm Use Linux!

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    Not my parents but my Granny dropped our jaws more than once.

    I was home on my first leave for X-mas 89, the whole family is gathered at moms house. And surprisingly we were all getting along pretty well.

    Well, granny was a pretty proper woman, but she was known to say a few minor cuss words now and again, but only when she was really, really angry. Anyhow (I really wish I could remember the joke too...) granny pipes up and tells the family to be quiet. Next thing we know she is rolling out one raunchy sailor joke after another.

    Mom cut her off from screwdrivers for the rest of the night. I think I was the only one laughing... everyone else had a look of sheer astonishment... and other than my laughing, yeah you coulda heard a pin drop.

    I do miss my granny something fierce. She died when I was enroute from Japan on emergency leave to see her.
     
  10. Derrin33

    Derrin33

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    Yep, when I was 16 my mother told me she was adopted. Didn't have a clue. I guess everybody just forgot to tell me. She actually looks alot like her (adopted) father. Her brother is not adopted, but she is. I guess it just shocked me.
     
  11. Historian

    Historian NRA Benefactor Lifetime Member

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    My mother likes to talk when she drinks. So I always keep something for her.

    You never know what she will say.

    She once told me that needed to turn the heat in the house off on cold nights so he wife would snuggle closer...she also told my wife that day she could get me drunk to increase the chances of a grand child.

    It worked. And now I'm baby sitting. If she had been a boy I'd have named him Johnny Chivas Walker.:dunno:
     
  12. byf43

    byf43 NRA Endowment Life Member

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    My Dad doesn't raise his voice, and he NEVER uses the 'F-Bomb'.

    Dad had some work done to his car (front-end alignment), and it wasn't 'right'.
    The car pulled to one side and you could literally see the tires getting 'scuffed'.

    Dad went back to the alignment shop to get this done correctly.
    The mechanic started telling my Dad a bunch of 'hooey' and Dad just looked at the guy and said, "Look, Bub. You're 'F-in' with the wrong man. Fix the _____ car, now.":wow:

    The garage re-aligned the front-end of that '62 Pontiac!
     
  13. B. Somm

    B. Somm Lady B/Team OAF CLM Millennium Member

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    Too many to remember, but one I remember involving my mom...

    My mom is one of those folks who frowns upon making fun of folks who are 'different', either by skin color, disabilities, lack of moral skills, looks or what not. She doesn't hesitate to berate me for "stereotyping" and says something to the effect of, "Well, you don't know them, so how would you know?", which usually illicits a huge :upeyes: from me. (I work for a local PD and often made comments about unsavory looking characters looking like "scumbags".)

    Anyway, Mom & I were out walking one evening, which took us past one of the local Rallys drive-thrus. The marquee out front was advertising their "Big Bubba Burger" and there just happened to be a rather large male individual working the front window. As we walked by, my ever so proper mother said:

    "Oh look, there's Big Bubba now!"

    It was just so out of the blue and out of character for her, that I laughed the whole way home! It wasn't really what she said, but the way she said it and the timing that had me laughing so hard! Man that was hilarious!!

    B. :rofl:
     
  14. JimBianchi

    JimBianchi Da Da CLM

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    Mom and Dad never really surprised me with anything the way my 85 year old Grandma did.

    She lived with us when I was a freshman in HS, when one on my friends (who she had met previously) called and couldn't make it for dinner, she said: "Thank god, I could eat with a (insert N word) at the table."

    I was stunned and yelled "WHAT?", my mom choked on her food loudly, my dad is hard of hearing and didn't hear what was said.

    It was a real eye-opener, and a little depressing too.
     
  15. Bikenut

    Bikenut

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    When I was a lad of about 8 my Mom and Dad were in the kitchen having some stern "words" with each other. I was in the next room and walked in just in time to hear Dad very sternly say to my Mom:

    "If you don't shape up I'll give you a severe F'ing!"

    and Mom just turned to him and smiled..............









    then they saw me standing there.

    And yeah, I knew what that meant even back then.
     
  16. Mrs. VR

    Mrs. VR Sharon, you will be missed.

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    ooooh, I can't post any of it here, but there are lots of GT'ers who have met my mom, and know that my lack of brain to mouth filter is honestly inherited! :rofl:
     
  17. Historian

    Historian NRA Benefactor Lifetime Member

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    She was driving me to school one early morn...it was the 6th grade. We had a lot of canals in our neighborhood...and a duck was flying over a fence and across the road when I yelled, "Look out for the duck!"

    I yelled it three times. She hit a flying duck with a small Ford right about the top of the window.

    Shocked I said, "Mom why did you hit that duck!? Didn't you see that duck flying?"

    She said, "I didn't think ducks could fly."

    Now before you think my mom is stupid. She an RN with three college degrees to her name. She's an educated person. Just sometimes she doesn't choose to exercise discretion.
     
  18. BicycleDay43

    BicycleDay43 00 Buck dude

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    I remember I was telling my grandma about all the crime in Albuquerque once, she blurts out, "yeah! its all those D*** cholo's with their chevy impala's and lincoln town cars!"

    :rofl::rofl:
     
  19. JBnTX

    JBnTX Bible Believer

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    GET OUT!!!
    You Lazy *** Good For Nothing!!!

    :crying:
     
  20. geminicricket

    geminicricket NRA Life member

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    My mom told me that she and my dad had sex for 2 months before marrying.

    I know that doesn't shock or surprise most of you or your grandmothers, but it did me.