Had you married her...

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by HollowHead, Jan 19, 2020.

  1. elkhart

    elkhart

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    Regret is such a poisonous pill. No sense creating a festering wound based on assumptions.

    That said, there are a couple girls I wonder about and regret not pursuing further. There is one, I would like to get in touch with but I can't seem to track her down. The other I saw a couple years ago. We didn't speak, but I'm pretty sure she recognized me. She looks great, married, is now a teacher. We dated in HS, I broke it off because I was just too young and not ready for a big commitment. I've been divorced and widowed, always wondered how thing would have turned out if we would have stayed together.

    I can say fairly confidently that I never met my "soul mate". I've dated girls I could have married, loved, and got along with, but not my soul mate. If I had to do it all over again I would settle for nothing less. And while I waited for my soul mate I would date more busty red heads.
     
  2. professor kv

    professor kv Hey! Who turned out the lights?

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    +1 on the busty red heads.
     
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  3. astepup

    astepup

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    I was with the ex wife for 20 years then divorced. The first woman I dated when the papers were signed was attractive, intelligent and an absolute Tasmanian Devil in bed. One of those rare "anything anywhere anytime" types. It was a very intense relationship. After two or three months she wanted to get married. I was thinking no way in hell! I'd just gotten out of a 20 year marriage and had no desire to jump into another one. Maybe I should have.

    She had a lot of great qualities besides the physical aspects. She used her great grandmothers iron cookware for everything. No non-stick pots or pans allowed in her house. She was frugal and believed in working hard, playing harder and saving for the future. She loved the idea of living on a farm and in the house she didn't like wearing many clothes.

    She did something despite me asking her several times not to and it pissed me off so with the "I don't have to take anybody's crap anymore" attitude I ended it. We actually reconnected a couple of years ago for a three day weekend. The sex was as good as ever but the "spark" wasn't the same. I knew it wasn't going anywhere when after she left I didn't start missing her.

    Once in a great while I do sometimes wonder had I married her what life together would have amounted to. I'm getting to the point where the need or desire to be with someone isn't all that important to me anymore. If I happen to meet "the one" and get married that'd be great but if not life's still pretty good as it is. Once I'm retired I'm thinking it's going to get a whole lot better.
     
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  4. itisbruno

    itisbruno Devious Member CLM

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    I let 3 get away (4 if you count G33 :sigh: ), but Leslie was the one I regret the most. She was cute and ornery. Ran into her later in life, still the same, divorces with a kid.

    I wasted too many years with 2 gals that were the wrong ones.

    Woulda, coulda, shoulda, ... NEXT :)
     
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  5. MAG40 Student

    MAG40 Student Silver Member

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    First, HollowHead, my sincere sympathies about the death of your friend on that damnable day. I hope her passing was instant and absent the awareness and fear so many experienced in that horrible event.

    Second, TGT, wondering about the road not taken is not at all the same as a sign of melancholy. Mostly, it's a fond recollection of the illusions of possibilities.

    It's why the beautifully wrapped box under the Christmas tree captures the imagination more than the actual shiny new thing inside. Like buying a lottery ticket, the experience isn't exclusively winning or losing, but also the "what ifs" that precede the drawing.

    What you're seeing at work in this thread is, instead, your fellow GTers remembering the possibilities, measuring the illusions of those days with the perspective of their life's experience, the wisdom, and the self-awareness that come with it.

    Nothing wrong with that.
     
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  6. lazarus66

    lazarus66

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    Before my Wedding Me, my Dad, and the Preacher were standing in a hallway outside the Sanctuary. It was a beautiful sunny day and we were right by the exit doors. I've often thought I should have fled through those doors and run like hell. Oh, well, live and learn.
     
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  7. LinuxLover

    LinuxLover Ba-nan-nah-nuh

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    Once in a while.... although not so much lately...... an old girlfriend comes onto a social site... and we talk a bit.... nothing great or earth shaking.... just a "How's life..." and "How's the weather...." stuff.

    There have been a few that were hot to trot and me galloping right along with them... but they fizzled out for both good..... or bad reasons.

    My first wife was the best match for me I could have ever wanted.... but she died at 43 with a heart attack.

    She was a surfer chick... young in her heart, G.I.B., loved me with passion, had a set of "Ds", was a great mom to our kids and a real sheet ripper, if you know what I mean!

    She wore Pendletons, jeans, cowboy boots, she could sit on her long blonde hair and swim and surf as good as me. We'd launch my 38-footer from Dana Harbor and by the time we hit the last bouy..... it was clothing optional.... accent on 'optional'.

    After my surfer chick-wife died, I got engaged to a very prestigious woman ... a vice president of a really big international bank.... but she just liked being engaged and wouldn't get married. Pfffft! I dumped her after 5 years of wasted time. She's dead now... Alzheimer's got her.

    I remarried in a serious heat, and I really shouldn't have. I don't actually hate where I am, wife-eise..... but I shouldda nevah.... and would nevah again consider her in contention for 100% of my heart.

    She had... still HAS, actually.... a lot of baggage from a very bad first marriage to a cop who only thinks with his small head.

    He beat her (damaged goods), adulterated their marriage even on their wedding night (she caught him... more damaged goods) and he brought her constantly recurring STDs (badly damaged goods).

    So, to: Pam and Sherry, Beth, The Mimi & Mary Sandwich Twins, Suzanne, Janet and Janice, Connie, Zoe, Kathy, Isabelle, Jeannie, Glenda, et al.... I hope life has been good for you ... that you loved and were greatly loved in return... for I truly loved each of you... although ours was youthfully so abstractly unreal, and not with a clear view to the future.

    Where I turned left... instead of right.... and found a new adventure..... I can only fantasize what if, with whom, where or why I might not be where I am today.

    I think Junior Brown says it well.... in a cathartic way....


    View: https://youtu.be/DaEzT5MusFs







    .
     
  8. Darkangel1846

    Darkangel1846

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    I don't really long for any one that I dated in the past, I do, however, wonder what their life was like. Two wives and both tired of me after a few years and found someone else to see. My current Significant Other is the best women I have ever been around. We have lived together for 25 years and plan to be together until I am tapped on the shoulder by the grim reaper. She is wonderful.
     
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  9. Desert Kraut

    Desert Kraut

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    This thread is depressing in many ways. If we all sit down and really think about it, what we have and what we think we should have had is all fantasy. Time has a way of glossing over reality, and those supposedly perfect matches from years past could have turned out to be real nightmares given the effect of life on a relationship.

    Man up with the choices you made and make the best of it. I have been married for almost 47 years now. Is my life and my relationship with my wife perfect? Hell no, but we exchanged vows and have honored them and been rewarded in many ways for doing so.
     
  10. LinuxLover

    LinuxLover Ba-nan-nah-nuh

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    Uh huh...... that's where I am right now.... committed to vows I will not violate.... but what is conubial happiness anyway? Fleeting, at best... unrealized at the worst.
     
  11. Grabbrass

    Grabbrass

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    Yes indeed. I'd rather not dwell on this. One girl in particular, I just have to remind myself that 30+ years has had a hell of an effect on me and would've to her as well, and we'd be complete strangers to each other now anyway.
     
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  12. DocCasualty

    DocCasualty Wolverine

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    Well? Inquiring minds and all . . .
     
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  13. serve_and_protect

    serve_and_protect

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    I think it is bad for one's spiritual wellbeing to dwell on the past.

    It is much better to be thankful for what I have and focus on the future, rather than fantasize and daydream about the possibilities of "what could have been."

    It didn't happen, so there is no good in continuing to speculate about "what if."

    Learn from the past, but don't dwell on it.

    Nothing good comes from fantasizing about "what could have happened."
     
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  14. Z71bill

    Z71bill

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    I was back "home" for my mom's funeral -

    One of my long lost friends from HS was at the reception - must have been 20 years since I had talked with him - we started talking and it was like old times.

    Then I see a lady walk in - took me a second but I finally recognized her - she was one of my first serious HS girl friends -

    I was about 50 at the time -- she is 1 year younger -but she looked like she was 70. She always loved to get a dark tan - I recall her "tan lines" well - plus she was a smoker.

    I say to my old friend - looks like I dodged a bullet -


    Later that day I figured out they had been living together for 15 years.

    :outtahere:
     
    Last edited: Jan 19, 2020
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  15. DocCasualty

    DocCasualty Wolverine

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    Whoops!
     
  16. Batesmotel

    Batesmotel

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    That’s the one who didn’t get away.
     
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  17. LinuxLover

    LinuxLover Ba-nan-nah-nuh

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    Agreed.

    Those 'mightta beens' only frustrate - so I wish all of those special people - special in my life - the very best of lives and happiness to come outta their ears.

    As I grow older - did I not sortta say this already? - I have to decide upon which hill I choose to die.

    Is 'this one' good enough?

    Is 'that one' better?

    Maybe there's 'another, better hill' someplace....

    In the end, it's all a striving for the wind and the whole obligation is to obey God and keep His standards as your standards. I think I read that someplace......

    Oh yeah.... Ecclesiastes 12:13 The conclusion of the matter, everything having been heard, is: Fear the true God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole obligation of man.
     
  18. joe sacco

    joe sacco

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    "Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: ' it might have been'."

    The river of life only flows in one direction. Move on, don't look back. best, Joe
     
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  19. shoeguns

    shoeguns Shooting Star

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    My ex was a really nice pretty lady, very hard working and had a big behind like Kim K, She love me so much and it got to her, So insecure and monitored everything i did. It was just too much for me, i her she got married and own her own business now. smiles for everyone.