close

Privacy guaranteed - Your email is not shared with anyone.

guess my age

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by CHEF-LOU, Apr 7, 2004.

  1. CHEF-LOU

    CHEF-LOU

    Messages:
    417
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2003
    Location:
    Southwest PA
    Aging
    >
    >
    >
    > A middle aged women decides to have a facelift for her birthday. She
    >
    > spends $5000 and feels pretty good about the results.
    >
    >
    >
    > On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper.
    >
    > Before leaving she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking,
    but
    >
    > how old do you think I am?"
    >
    >
    >
    > "About 32," was the reply. "I'm exactly 47, " the woman says happily
    >
    > A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl
    >
    > the very same question. She replies, "I guess about 29." The woman
    replies,
    >
    > "Nope, I'm 47."
    >
    >
    >
    > Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on
    >
    > her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and
    >
    > asks the clerk this burning question. The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say
    30."
    >
    >
    >
    > Again she proudly responds, "I am 47, but thank you."
    >
    >
    >
    > While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man the same
    >
    > question.
    >
    >
    >
    > He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eye sight is going. Although, when I
    >
    > was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds
    >
    > very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra.
    >
    > Then I can tell you exactly how old you are."
    >
    >
    >
    > They waited in silence on the empty street until curiosity got the best
    >
    > of her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead."
    >
    >
    >
    > He slips both of his hands under her blouse and under her bra and begins
    >
    > to feel around very slowly and carefully. After a couple of minutes of
    >
    > this, she said," Okay, okay,...how old am I?"
    >
    >
    >
    > He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and
    >
    > says, "Madam, you are 47."
    >
    >
    >
    > Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, ...how
    >
    > could you tell?"
    >
    >
    >
    > The old man replies, "Promise you won't get mad?"
    >
    >
    >
    > "No", she said.
    >
    >
    >
    > So he replied, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
    >
    >
    >