Got asked to refrain from carrying...

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by Kosher Larry, Feb 19, 2010.

  1. Kosher Larry

    Kosher Larry MWAG

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    Back story: Not very many of my friends own firearms. I didn't start getting into guns until about 3 years ago. None of us came up around them and it just wasn't something that we were exposed to. None of these friends are rabid anti's either; they're part of the segment of our society that doesn't own guns and doesn't really have much of an opinion either way. I have a couple of friends in particular (husband and wife) that I met a few years ago through my best friend and his wife. We'll call them Couple A and Couple B, respectively. Couple A are a little younger; she's 28 and he's 25. Couple A has a birthday party coming up at their house for their little girl (she's turning 3).

    Yesterday, I'm hanging out with my best friend and he tells me that Couple A have requested that in the future I not carry in their home. This came as a surprise to me. Couple A has recently indicated an interest in going to the range and they have never given any indication of being anti-gun in any capacity. As I was telling my best friend, I do my best to educate people whenever possible and above all, to be a positive example of legal firearm ownership. FTR, he agrees with me in the sense that it's a request being made with some sort of irrational foundation, and he is just the messenger. They turned to him because they know he can speak frankly with me and I won't get mad at him.

    Here's the dilemma. It is their home. I have no choice but to respect their wishes if I want to be in their home. Their neighborhood doesn't happen to be the greatest. It is a prime example of a Florida neighborhood that got built up in the bubble and moved into by people who borrowed more than they could afford. Many of the houses are vacant. Some were bought by people at a fire sale discount when the bubble popped and rented out. A lot of less than desirable people find themselves in this neighborhood loitering. Long story longer, it's not the type of neighborhood where I'd feel comfortable leaving a pistol in my car, even if it is in a car safe or in the glove box (which locks with the key to the car).

    My initial inclination is that concealed means concealed. Then again, I don't like the idea of lying to my best friend. So I turn to you fine folks. Especially those who have had a similar experience. What did you do? What would you do? Any ideas would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
     
  2. HKUSP45Css

    HKUSP45Css

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    I carry everywhere I go, if someone asks me not to carry around them/in their home I simply respect their wishes and stay away from them/their home.

    Everybody wins!
     

  3. mnglocker

    mnglocker Rope Czar

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    Perhaps you suggest that they have the party for their daughter at your place? I'm assuming it's in a better neighborhood any way...
     
  4. hockeyrcks9901

    hockeyrcks9901

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    Talk to the friends that asked you're other friends to tell you.

    If they aren't willing to talk to you about an issue, should you really be hanging out with them? I know any of my friends would talk to me personally about anything without concern about my reaction...
     
  5. G26S239

    G26S239 NRA Patron

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    Lying to them and not respecting their wishes is not good. I believe the decision is to not carry in their home or not go to their home.
     
  6. Kosher Larry

    Kosher Larry MWAG

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    Easier said than done. She loves to cook and have people over, so they have a lot of "events" at their house. I don't want to miss out on getting to see my friends.
     
  7. farley45

    farley45

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    If they were my friends I would just call them up, or ask the guy to meet me at the bar and discuss it over a beer. Just see what the issue is and see if it is something that can be worked out through discussion.

    After talking with them about it, not through a messenger, if they still had a problem with it then I would acknowledge their opinion and honor their wishes.
     
  8. rahrah12

    rahrah12

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    I would talk to them first...
     
  9. Kosher Larry

    Kosher Larry MWAG

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    I was thinking about this also. I understand why they went the route that they did, but I would have obviously preferred that they come to me themselves. I'm still kind of beside myself about this whole thing.
     
  10. HKUSP45Css

    HKUSP45Css

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    Then we disagree. I have events at my house too, where I'm not beholden to the wishes of others.

    I don't miss time with my friends by not hanging out with irrational people.
     
  11. Kosher Larry

    Kosher Larry MWAG

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    Yeah...I think this is the route that's gonna be taken.
     
  12. sureshot

    sureshot

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    i would call them and ask what the reason is that they dont want you carrying in their home not in a smart manner just curious as to what the reason is.
    then i would explain to them about your perception of their neighborhood
    if that didnt change their minds abt you bringing a firearm into their home then you have to decide if you still want to venture into that neighborhood unarmed.
    if it were me i would decide if i wanted to go back to their house if so i would make use of a belly band or other deep concealment weapon and lie my ass off to them abt having it.
    i would rather lie than die in that situation
    but thats just me
    cause if someone figures out that these ppl are a no weapon home then they may want to try a forced entry home invasion
    how are you gonna feel if someone busts in there and robs, rapes or murders the occupants?? and there you are sitting there with no shooter?
    i carry everywhere i go and where i cant carry i dont go
    but again thats just me
     
  13. Kosher Larry

    Kosher Larry MWAG

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    I'm not just talking about them (couple A). I'm talking about the 20 other people that are there that could care less what's in my waistband. Getting us all together at the same time is a rare feat, and I like to enjoy those times. It just so happens that they tend to host many of them.
     
  14. tank mechanic

    tank mechanic

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    I would comply with their safety concerns only if the reply in kind to yours:

    All knives removed from the kitchen
    All cleaning fluids removed from the home
    All sharp corners padded
    All blunt objects removed from the home
    All items that could be fashioned into shivs removed
    All fire exits clearly marked


    All joking aside, I would respect their wishes, it is their home, and I simply would not go over there any more.
     
  15. glockrod

    glockrod NRA-Endow. Life

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    Ask her why. Is it a safety issue with her kid? Does she not want you in a houseful of other guests at the party while packing. Other parents may get upset even though your friends have been ok to this point. I can understand this point, as I would likely have my guns secured at my own kids party.

    Why dont you ask her if they have a secure place to put it while you are there? Explain that you are afraid to leave it in the car in case of a break in while at their house. You may think of a better way to put that comment.

    Explain to your friend to grow a pair and talk to his wife. (Prolly not the best option).

    For gods sake, just ask. If you are offended, you probably wont be coming to the party anyway. Get it out in the open and get 'er done.

    Rod
     
  16. hikerpaddler

    hikerpaddler

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    Should have been concealed and private in the first place. Then it wouldn't be an issue. Now you need to either leave it behind or not attend. You already came across as a little wobbly due to proselytizing. Disrespecting their wishes regarding their own home would compound the issue. Forcing further discussion on the issue would just make you look irrational. And sure, they may live in a questionable neighborhood, but you're far from in imminent danger. Most ccw'ers will live a full and natural life without ever having needed a firearm for self defense.
     
  17. JBnTX

    JBnTX

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    You've answered your own question.
    It's their home and their rules.

    With that 2nd amendment right also comes responsibility.
    Something a lot of CC people don't understand.
    Or don't care?
     
  18. nam02G

    nam02G First throwing ax bullseye.

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    Another option would be to explain your concerns about the neighborhood and your desire to be prepared. If the issue is you being around their child while armed you could ask them if they had a place in their home for you to secure the weapon while you are visiting.

    Drat, glockrod got his response in while I was typing mine.
     
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2010
  19. HKUSP45Css

    HKUSP45Css

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    Then your quandry is one only you can answer: Which is more important to you? You attending events in a home run by irrational people among your friends or carrying a gun in a place you'd rather not be unarmed.

    You could lie but, I'd hope you'd have more ethics than that.
     
  20. Ol Timer

    Ol Timer ↓ hog hunter ↓ Millennium Member

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    Apparently not. Why do so many know you carry?