_ Two girls go out one weekend without their husbands and got somewhat inebriated. Staggering on their way home, they both desperately need a wee and with no public toilets in sight the nearest venue was a cemetery, so they both ducked behind the fence to relieve themselves. After they'd finished, the first woman took off her knickers to wipe herself and then threw them away. The other woman, realising she was wearing some very expensive knickers, didn't want to throw hers away and so looked around for something else and decided on using the ribbon off a nearby wreath. So now, feeling a lot better, they carried on with their stagger home. The following morning the two husbands were talking to each other on the phone. One commented, "I think we need to start keeping a closer eye on our wives you know. I reckon they're up to no good. My wife came home last night without any knickers on! "The other one replied, "Tell me about it! If you think that's bad, my wife came home with a card stuck to her arse that read -"All the members of the District Fire Brigade will never forget you".