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ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ
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Girlfriend went on a 1.5 hour out of town road trip today and called me once she got to where she was going. Then she proceeds to tell this story about almost getting into a road rage incident, which made my blood boil. Apparently she was driving down this 2 lane highway and notices that "a guy in this car is right on my ass." Shortly thereafter, all the cars came upon a wreck or a delay of some sort and come to a standstill, having to stop quickly. In doing so, she thinks that the guy behind her might have hit her bumper. So she puts it in Park, and gets out of her car saying, "You were riding my ass the whole time!" while the guy in the car is apparently saying, "I didn't hit your *******ing car, I didn't hit your *******ing car..." She then sees that there isn't any damage to her rear bumper, and she gets back in her car.

Now... The problem with this is that from a defensive perspective, she only risked escalating the situation with her words. Raising your voice to someone saying, "You were on my ass" can only stand to piss someone off even more. And not knowing a thing about who this guy is, what his problem is, or what he has in his car, this is a very bad idea IMO. I told her "the words that rise easily to your lips might be the words that you live (or not live) to regret", but she just doesn't seem to get it. She thinks I'm paranoid about everyone being a potential threat, and the reality of the situation is that everyone IS a potential threat! I'm not paranoid that they are, but I realize that they MIGHT be.

Anyway, she just doesn't seem to get the whole defensive/tactical mindset and it frustrates me. She gets incredibly defensive when I try to share some things I've learned about being defensive and avoiding confrontations, and I just wonder if any of it sinks in with her. I love her to death, but I want someone that's going to be driving around with our kids in the car in 5 or 10 years to know these things in order to stay safe.
:brickwall:
 

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Sharon, you will be missed.
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that would worry me too. It wasn't very wise on her part. How old is your girlfriend? Sometimes I think the younger we are, the more invulnerable we think we are.

I will say that in my experience having kids to protect makes you about a gazillion times more aware and cautious of what's going on around you, and situations like you described. (the Mama Bear thing :teddy: ) If she's not willing to at least LISTEN to you, I'm not sure what to suggest. Maybe sign her up for some kind of personal defense class as a gift? In alot of those classes they discuss NOT letting youself get into a dangerous situation in the first place.

Good luck, I think it would be hard to always have to be worried about someone that I love that way.
 

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My daughter is one who thinks that the whole world should be love, flowers, and warm feelings - she drove me crazy with her lack of awareness, especially when she reached driving age.

I started sending her news reports and having her read stories here on GT ("almost hijacked" is a great one!). She's finally realizing that there ARE people that are out to do harm and it can happen anywhere and at anytime.

My suggestion is that you simply give her information that shows her why you are so concerned - try to find personal stories, not just the nightly news. And then try to get her to a class.

Good luck!
 
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