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GEEZER TESTwith answers for those of you not old enough.

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by lethal tupperwa, Nov 9, 2002.

  1. lethal tupperwa

    lethal tupperwa

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    OLD GEEZER TEST

    1. Where did headlight dimmer switches used to be located?

    a . On the floor shift knob
    b. On the floor, left of the clutch
    c. Next to the horn

    2. The bottle top of a Royal Crown Cola bottle has holes in it. For what was it used?

    a. Capture lightning bugs.
    b. To sprinkle clothes before ironing
    c. Large salt shaker

    3. Why was having milk delivered a problem in northern winters?

    a. Cows got cold and wouldn't produce
    b. Ice on highways forced delivery by dog sled
    c. Milkmen left deliveries outside doors and milk would freeze,expanding and pushing up the cardboard bottle top.

    4. What was the popular chewing gum named for a game of chance?

    a. Blackjack
    b. Gin
    c. Craps

    5. What method did women adapt to look as if they were wearing stockings when none was available due to rationing during W.W.II?

    a. Suntan
    b. Leg painting
    c. Wearing slacks

    6. What postwar car turned automotive design on its ear when you couldn't tell whether it was coming or going?

    a. Studebaker
    b. Nash Metro
    c. Tucker

    7. Which was a popular candy when you were a kid?

    a. Strips of dried peanut butter
    b. Chocolate-licorice bars
    c. Wax coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside

    8. How was Butch wax used?

    a. To stiffen hair cut into a flattop so it stood up
    b. To make floors shiny and prevent scuffing
    c. On the wheels of roller skates to prevent rust

    9. Before inline skates, how did you keep your roller skates attached to your shoes?

    a. With clamps, tightened by a skate key
    b. Woven straps that crossed the foot
    c. Long pieces of string or twine

    10. As a kid, what was considered the best way to reach a decision?

    a. Consider all the facts
    b. Ask Mom
    c. Eeny-meeny-miney-mo

    11. What was the worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex?

    a. A cold
    b. VD
    c. Cooties

    12. "I'll be down to get you in a ________, Honey?"

    a. SUV
    b. Taxi
    c. Streetcar

    13. What was the name of Caroline Kennedy's pet pony?

    a. Old Blue
    b. Paint
    c. Macaroni

    14. What was a Duck-and-Cover Drill?

    a. Part of the game of hide and seek
    b. What you did when your mom called you in to do chores
    c. Hiding under your desk, covering your head with your arms in an A bomb drill.

    15. What was the name of the Indian Princess on the Howdy Doody show?

    a. Princess Summerfallwinterspring
    b. Princess Sacajewea
    c. Princess Moonshadow

    16. What did all really savvy students do when mimeographed tests were handed out in school?

    a. Immediately sniffed the purple ink, as this was believed to get you "high"
    b. Made paper airplanes to see who could sail theirs out the window
    c. Wrote another pupils name on the top, to avoid failure

    17. Why did your mom shop in stores that gave Green Stamps with purchases?

    a. To keep you out of mischief licking the backs, which tasted like bubble gum
    b. They could be put in special books and redeemed for various household items
    c. They were given to the kids to be used as stick on tattoos

    18. "Praise the Lord, and pass the _________?"

    a. Meatballs
    b. Dames
    c. Ammunition

    19. What was the name of the group who made the song "Cabdriver" a hit?

    a. The Ink Spots
    b. The Supremes
    c. The Esquires

    20. Who left his heart in San Francisco?

    a. Tony Bennett
    b. Zavier Cugat
    c. George Gershwin



    ANSWERS

    1. b) On the floor, left of the clutch. Hand controls, popular in Europe, took till the '60s to catch on.

    2. b) To sprinkle clothes before ironing. Who had a steam iron?

    3. c) Cold weather caused the milk to freeze and expand, popping the bottle top.

    4. a) Blackjack Gum.

    5. b) Special makeup was applied followed by drawing a seam down the back of the leg with eyebrow pencil.

    6. a) 1946 Studebaker.

    7. c) Wax coke bottles containing super-sweet colored water.

    8. a) Wax for your flat top (butch) haircut.

    9. a) With clamps, tightened by a skate key, which you wore on a shoestring around your neck.

    10. c) Eeny-meeny-miney-mo.

    11. c) Cooties.

    12. b) Taxi. Better be ready by half-past eight!

    13. c) Macaroni.

    14. c) Hiding under your desk, covering your head with your arms in an A-bomb drill. ( we knew this as kissing your *** goodbye. )

    15. a) Princess Summerfallwinterspring. She was another puppet.

    16. a) Immediately sniffed the purple ink to get "high."

    17. b) Put in a special stamp book, they could be traded for household items at the Green Stamp store.

    18. c) Ammunition, and we'll all be free.

    19. a) The all male, all black group, The Inkspots.

    20. a) Tony Bennett and he sounds just as good today.



    SCORING

    17 - 20 correct: You are not only older than dirt, but obviously gifted with mind bloat. Now if you could only find your glasses.

    12 - 16 correct: Not quite dirt yet, but your mind is definitely muddy.

    0 - 11 correct: You are a sad excuse of a geezer
     
  2. Eddie C.

    Eddie C. Administrator Moderator CLM

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    I am officially older than dirt. The only one I missed 11, I said B (ouch). I remember the Butch used to come in a red plastic tube and you'd have to push it up and use it on the front of your hairline. Oh and not only S&H Stamps but Triple S and Plaid Stamps remember those. You actually put them in "Books" and traded them in. WOW! I'm gonna shut up now and go lay down...
     

  3. jkirk

    jkirk USN, Retired

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    OMG!!!!! I'm 'only' 36, but I got 17 right.
    I'm scared!!!


    Jeff
     
  4. Guest

    got all but # 19 right ,but then i don't listen to monkey music...
     
  5. Sugarfoot

    Sugarfoot

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    I think the answer to #19 might be
    The Mills Brothers...
     
  6. Eddie C.

    Eddie C. Administrator Moderator CLM

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    Sugarfoot, I bet your right. I said the same thing until I didn't see that answer there. The Mills Bros. also did "Paper Doll" and a bunch of others but when I saw the choices I said it must of been the Ink Spots. By the way one of my all time favorite Westerns on T.V. was a show called "Sugarfoot" starring Wil Hutchins from the early 1960's. I don't know if that's where you got your name from but again I'm showing at least I'm old!
     
  7. Dennis in MA

    Dennis in MA Get off my lawn

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    I got 17 - double it and you approximate my age (33). I spent a lot of time with my grandparents.

    Who used to take their old skates, a board or two, an old (wooden) orange crate and make a scooter??? Oh come on. Someone had to here.
     
  8. jhfenton

    jhfenton Evil Marathoner

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    I got 14 right at age 32. Is that a good sign or a bad sign?
     
  9. joegerardi

    joegerardi Lifetime Member Millennium Member

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    Just one little thing...

    #16 - The purple ink was not from mimeograph machines. They produced copies in black. The purple was produced by a rexograph machine.

    I was on the student office staff in jr. high, and spent one period a day doing that stuff in a small room. With all the chemicals, I never once got high. I don't think it can, and I think all those stories about causing brain damage later in life were just a myth. Furthermore, thdslkf ayhjayfa, djvg fj fiofja fkaaafaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

    ..Joe
     
  10. Blast

    Blast 'nuff said

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    I got 14 right and I'm more than ten years your senior. The fact that you got 14 right just shows that you probably are a fan of the History channel, as am I.
     
  11. Glock_Geezer

    Glock_Geezer Aiiieeee....

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    Well, I got 'em all right, but then that's why I am the Glock Geezer!
     
  12. zen_grasshopper

    zen_grasshopper God Bless USA

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    I am only 22 and I got all but two right. Does that make me old?

    Maybe I just got them right, from listening to Grandpa ramble on about the good old days.

    Jon;g ;c ;Y
     
  13. Aquanewt

    Aquanewt

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    I got a bunch right but forgot how many. I'm in a continual Brain Fart right now dealing with a 18 y/o daughter.;d
     
  14. DesertEagle

    DesertEagle OH HELL MY HEAD CLM

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    I WISH I had an 18 year old female to deal with. Just not an 18 year old daughter (which is actually biologically impossible anyhow). They don't like me ;1
    D.E.
     
  15. BEANCOUNTER

    BEANCOUNTER Millennium Member

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    ...formerly known as "these trying times!"
     
  16. cmoth

    cmoth

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    I got 18 right and I'm 32. I knew the answers to them because I did hang out with my grandparents and uncles who were all WW2 vets. I received several birthday presents due to S&H Green Stamps, they're not that old. There was a Green Stamp store in Conroe, TX in the early 80's (I got a Walkman).

    Most of them are dead. I thank them for my conservative outlook, my WW2 history and my pre-mature maturity.

    May God bless and keep the elderly, they remind all of us how to stay young.