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Funny quotes

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by eXistenZ, Feb 21, 2010.

  1. eXistenZ

    eXistenZ Play it.

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    Big fan of quotes, especially humorous ones. I ran across this and thought it was one of the funnier ones I've read in awhile.

    "When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, "There's just something about you that p***es me off." - Stephen King
     
  2. silentpoet

    silentpoet

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    "I did not have sex with that woman."

    "We will put the hearings on CSPAN."
     

  3. RyanSBHF

    RyanSBHF Senior Member

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    "most ethical Congress ever"
     
  4. Hailstorm

    Hailstorm Boom Shacka

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    I prefer to date woman with small hands:whistling:












    :rofl::tongueout:
     
  5. SIUC4

    SIUC4 Glockness

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    Shut your mouth when your talking to me!!
     
  6. Surt

    Surt Jötunn-Kin

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    "I'll be in my bunk." -Jayne
     
  7. tadbart

    tadbart duuuuude.

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    "if you can get a girl to laugh, you can get her to do anything you want." ~Marilyn Monroe.


    SO TRUE.
     
  8. NH Trucker

    NH Trucker Needs coffee...

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    "Passionate kiss is like a spider's web; It leads to the undoing of a fly"




    :supergrin:
     
  9. DRZ

    DRZ

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    Ditto.
     
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2010
  10. Fred Hansen

    Fred Hansen Liberal Bane

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  11. perkins3120

    perkins3120

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    Dont drink that its piss
     
  12. NorthCarolinaLiberty

    NorthCarolinaLiberty MentalDefective

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    "Don't worry, I'll pay you back."

    --My brother, after I lent him $300 in 1989
     
  13. eXistenZ

    eXistenZ Play it.

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    Took my sister 5 years to pay me back $90.
     
  14. RioKid

    RioKid

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    1."Believe me, your checks in the mail."

    2."Would I lie about a thing like that?"

    3."This won't hurt at all, I promise."

    4."Read my lips; no new taxes."

    5."The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other
    peoples' money."