Funniest thing your kid ever said when they were little...

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by BIGJC, Jul 29, 2020.

  1. NJ1911

    NJ1911

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    Another one...I had a bad habit of cursing around the kids not thinking they were listening. One day my wife went food shopping with our son who was about 3, and she came home pissed. I asked what happened. She said he was sitting in the top of the cart and dropped his toy on the floor. He leaned forward, looked down at the toy, and said, "Jesus Christ!". What made her mad was people heard him and he basically imitated the way I would say it.
     
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  2. NJ1911

    NJ1911

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    Just thought of this one...One day our daughter comes in from outside crying. She and her brother were fighting and she was distraught trying to tell us what happened. She finally blurted out, "He called me a hobo!". We were cracking up because at first we thought she said "homo" and then we realized the randomness of him calling her a hobo.
     
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  3. CanyonMan

    CanyonMan In The Saddle

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    We were fixin up our ranch house in NW Oklahoma, (in Tex now), and my wife liked to go barefoot working around the house on the old floors we had (at first). One evening during supper, sittin around the table, my wife rubbed her foot on our little (at that time) 7 year old daughters leg and our little girl said, "wow mom, you could sand the walls with your feet...!"

    We lost it...






    CM
    Horse:
     
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  4. BigBluefish

    BigBluefish

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    Another one. Son was maybe 20 months. Thanksgiving dinner. Couple dozen family around. My mother's brotherJohn who my son had never met was there, mid '60s with his full gray beard. Looked just like our friend, Dick, who my son knew.

    At the dinner table my son called him "Dick".
    "No, I'm your Uncle John".
    "Dick."
    "He looks like Dick..."
    "Dick."
    "My name is John."
    My son looked puzzled.
    "You a Dick."
    Much laugher
    "You a Dick! You are Dick! You a Dick!"
     
  5. nam02G

    nam02G First throwing ax bullseye.

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    Here's a couple more from my daughter.
    Background information: My ex-FIL has very few filters when talking. My ex-MIL is named Janet. He has a habit when he gets annoyed to yell out "Da***t Janet!"
    One day my daughter is in their care when my ex-MIL decides to run an errand leaving my daughter in the care of her grandfather. I don't remember what happened by my ex-FIL yelled out, "God Da****!"
    My daughter replied, "She just left Grandpa."

    Another time we were down at their house when ex-FIL yells out a profanity. My daughter looks at me and asks, "Doesn't he know that there are children around?"
     
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  6. Bohucka

    Bohucka

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    Another one: My son (3 or 4 at the time) was spending the day with his grandma. They had a lot of errands to run, including a dispute grandma had with the cable company. Back then, they actually had a physical presence so people could return/pick up equipment. Grandma finished her business with the lady at the counter and my son looked at her in all seriousness and asked, quite loudly, "When are you going to start fighting, Grandma?"
     
  7. QuietAnarchist

    QuietAnarchist

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    When my daughter was about 9, she was talking to our older next door neighbor. I walked over and the conversation had been reduced to just small talk about the weather. It was obvious that he wanted to get away, so he said “well, I got to get going. I’m going to the barber for a haircut”. My daughter said “tell him to do something with those eyebrows, they’re crazy looking”. I think it hurt his feelings and I quickly ushered her away while trying not to crack up. When I saw him later, they were cleaned right up.
     
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  8. RovinOn

    RovinOn

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    We had an older gentleman coming to the house trying to sell us Encyclopedias (remember them?). He always came to the door while my wife was making dinner, she answered the door and told the guy she was busy and would have to come back. Now she did this about two times thinking the guy wouldn’t come back, but he was persistent.
    So she’s telling me this and I said to her what do you keep telling him this for? You know he’s going to keep coming back. Now this is at the dinner table so my 5 year son was hearing all of this.
    Now I told my wife,,,Look the next time this guy shows up just tell him to hit the pike! end of story.
    So guess what, he shows up again, the wife is making dinner! The son answers the door and sees who it is and tells the guy...My dad says you should hit the pike! and closes the door on him.
    Needless to say he never came back again! :animlol:
    My son is now 35 and we still kid him about this!
     
  9. DaveD

    DaveD Ex-Mod Moderator Millennium Member

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    Six year old comes home from school with a note that he was swearing at the lunch monitor. Would not tell us what he said. Even went to bed with out dinner. It was a Friday night so I said no cartoons tomorrow. Suddenly he was ready to spill the beans.

    Nathan licked his finger and stuck it in my brownie so I wouldn't eat it. He wanted it. The lunch lady came over and heard me call him the "E" word. She thought I was talking to her.

    E word? E word?.....swearing? E word? Tom, tell me the word you called him an "Ediot" :)

    I did have a chat with the lunch monitor.
     
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  10. Hoochrunners

    Hoochrunners

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    Last night. “What is *********e?” He heard “mask debate” on tv.
     
  11. pntblnk

    pntblnk

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    When I was about five I couldn’t pronounce my TR‘s very well...they came out as hard F’s. So one Christmas My dad took me to the hills department store with my grandmother and walked me down the aisle with all the cars and trucks. He then proceeded to ask me what I wanted for Christmas which of course was a big red fire truck. To my grandmothers dismay I started jumping up and down and telling everybody that I wanted a big red fire fuc. He then proceeded to ask me about all of the other trucks in the aisle. There were semi fuc’s, there were dump fuc’s there were pickup fuc’s....basically there were all kinds of fuc’s.

    My dad still laughs today when he tells that story and my poor grandma rolls in the grave. She was mortified.
     
    Last edited: Aug 6, 2020
  12. Borg Warner

    Borg Warner

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    I can remember being a kid and riding to day camp in a station wagon with a bunch of other kids. and we were talking about whether we were Republicans or Democrats. So one kid says. "I'm a Republican!" and another kid says, "Me too!" and another kid says, Not me, I'm a Democrat!" and finally it gets down to one kid who hasn't said anything, and someone asks him, "Well what are You?" And he says, "I'm Jewish!"
     
  13. BigBluefish

    BigBluefish

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    More a straight line delivered by a kid.

    One of my wife's cousins on the Chippewa side of the family tells of a vacation they took out west when her daughter was 6 or 7. They had seen some historical sights from the Indian Wars era, and had at one heard a lecture on among other things, one of the better known Indian raids / massacres of some white settlers. That night, her daughter was having trouble sleeping. Her mom asked why? Daughter said she was scared the Indians were going to come and get them, "like in the story!"

    "Oh, honey, " she'd said, "you don't have to worry. We ARE the Indians."
     
  14. thbassin

    thbassin

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    We weren’t great about always keeping the fridge stocked. One day after coming home from the grocery store with a bunch of stuff and filling the fridge , my 7 year old daughter walks in , opens the fridge and yells “There’s something wrong with refrigerator!!!”

    Because it was full of food . That’s when I knew she was my kid .


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
  15. Ordell Robbie

    Ordell Robbie Giant Member

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    Older son-

    We're having Thanksgiving dinner at my in-laws. The boy (age 4) jumps up and takes off running out of the dining room and down the hall.

    Wife- "You get back here and ask grandma if you can be excused before you leave her table little Mr.!"

    Boy- " Sorry grandma but my butt is starting to poop without me!"


    Grampa about fell out of his chair laughing...




    Younger son probably about 7 or 8 at the time.


    He's with his buddy and buddies mom is driving them somewhere. She gets stuck behind some slow poke and is giving him the polite "Come on, pick up the pace Mr." My kid from the back seat, "Come on! It's the big pedal on the right, DUMBASS!!" Thank God she was a cool mom, she said she had a hell of a time trying to keep a straight face!
     
  16. glowrod

    glowrod Fightin' Fire

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    O
    Sorry, off topic. This reminded me of joke that we would tell as kids.
    What starts with "F" and ends with "uck".....?

    "Firetruck"
     
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  17. barta

    barta This is Barta!

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    My middle one, who is now in the 82nd Airborne, had trouble pronouncing “k” and it came out as a “t” when in kindergarten. They all got to stand up and say what they did the previous summer and he begin to tell the class about his visit back home to TX and how his grandmother has 10 “t”itties and he likes to play with them. True story.
     
  18. Foxterriermom

    Foxterriermom No place like home

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    I'm enjoying the stories! I don't have any children so I have no stories of my own to pass along, but I can assure you my Mom would have some to tell on me if she was on this board.
     
  19. Bluzman

    Bluzman

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    My grandson went in the house and told his mom and granny and said “Poppy Phil is the smartest one in the family”. I don’t know where he got that, but I sure liked his enthusiasm.
    :fred:
     
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  20. John_AZ

    John_AZ

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    I was carrying my daughter down the hall the other day to change her. She kept going “wee woo wee woo wee woo” like a European police car. I asked her if she was a police car and she said “no...” looking all confused. I asked he what she was then and she said “Eeeewwwwww” and then noticed she had really gross #2 waiting for me

    Turns out it wasn’t “wee woo” but more of an “eeeee ewwwww”
     
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