Funniest thing your kid ever said when they were little...

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by BIGJC, Jul 29, 2020.

  1. NJ1911

    NJ1911

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    Our kids were in daycare from a young age and whenever any of the kids would say something off color, for example, the word "dumb" or whatever, the teachers would respond, "We don't say dumb." One day after an ice storm and the power being out for 4 days, I was at home in the kitchen talking on the cordless phone with my mother, while my son, 3 at the time, played in the living room. Unexpectedly, the power went out, killing the base station and phone. Having been through heck the past 4 days, I yelled "mother******". From the darkness of the living room, a tiny voice, clear as a bell responded, "We don't say mother******."

    As they got older, they have had this annoying habit of reading the DirecTV guide as you scroll through it. One day my son saw the listing for "Pitbulls and Parolees". Just being curious, I asked him do you know what a parolee is. He replied, "Another type of dog?" After which I explained to him that the show was not about 2 breeds of dogs (technically).
     
  2. G26-Has-my-6

    G26-Has-my-6 Fullclip's Life Matters! FLM!!

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    first birthday party for my son, and he's at the head of the table in his high chair, grandmas and grandpas there, aunts and uncles...and he starts yelling (while pointing his finger off to the side)...

    F*ck! F*ck! F*ck!

    Then I see he's pointing at his toy TRUCK. So I chime in...No! Truck! Truck! Truck!
     
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  3. ILeft

    ILeft

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    Father / daughter vacation when she was 8. Drove to Niagara Falls. Such anticipation, she even put her beenie babies on the dash to enjoy the trip.
    We finally get there, staring at this majestic sight. I wonder what's going through her mind.
    Thirty seconds of dead silence and then she says
    "OK, let's go to the mall."
     
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2020
  4. light-switch

    light-switch Back to work...

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    I'm Asian born overseas and naturalized, wife Caucasian born here. Our kids growing up were never aware there was a racial difference between their parents, or even considered how that affected their own race.

    Then they got to first grade and started to learn about our country and what Americans are. "Dad wasn't born here, so he wasn't American, but now he is." "We thought he was Chinese?" "Yes, he's Chinese, but he's now an American too." "Are you Chinese mommy?" "No, I'm just American." "Daddy doesn't look like you, and he's American?" "I'm Caucasian, and American. Look, I'm just like most other regular people around. Don't worry about it, you'll understand one day."

    Next time we're picking them up at a little kids party, they see me and tell all other kids "See? That's my mommy and daddy, and that's how I'm half Chinese, half regular!"

    Sent from my Pixel 2 using Tapatalk
     
  5. clancy

    clancy Oh, for a muse of fire

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    I took my son to a French and Indian War reenactment when he was maybe 3. He had to pee, and I took him into a porta-potty and stood him up on the rim. He looked down and started saying, in as aloud a voice as he could, "look, Daddy, they didn't flush, that's degusting". He went on about it for a good hour as we went through the event. In fact, he wouldn't shut up about it.
     
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  6. R9S19

    R9S19

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    I was in Walmart with my 3 year old daughter when she started to throw a tantrum. She flung herself on the ground and refused to get up, so I picked her up and slung her over my shoulder when she began to scream “HELP MEE!!!! HELP ME!!!!

    I fully expected to be met by da po-po on my way out for abduction.
     
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  7. light-switch

    light-switch Back to work...

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    Another one:

    We watch what we say, following as best as we can the biblical mandate to not cuss. We even avoid many words with which most households wouldn't see a problem.

    One day daughter no. 2 is telling me about her day in school in second grade, and she says "And Johnny made Mrs. Jones SO MAD she even used a bad word!"

    "Really? What word was that?"

    "The S-WORD!" with her eyes bugged out, horrified at the thought.

    I couldn't believe the teacher would ever say that in front of the second graders, and was already thinking about what I was going to write in my email to said teacher. I recomposed myself, and carefully asked her "I don't want to make you repeat a bad word, but I need to know what exactly your teacher said before I let her know how upset I am. What did she say?"

    Daughter looked around as if to make sure no one else would hear her, and whispered to in my ear:

    "Stupid"

    Sent from my Pixel 2 using Tapatalk
     
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  8. PRKJayhawk

    PRKJayhawk

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    Feeding some baby food to my oldest when he was just starting to talk; and suddenly he spits it out and says “CACA!”
    My wife gives me the stink eye, and I point out that he used the word correctly!
     
  9. Dave514

    Dave514

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    2 year old son cruises into the bedroom one night, I stop what I'm doing and get up in the dark to shuffle him out. He says "YOU GOT YOUR BODY OUT?"

    Cousin, about 4, headed to Cedar Rapids, Iowa. When they get there he asks "where are the rabbits". He thought they had been saying See The Rabbits instead of Cedar Rapids.
     
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2020
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  10. JohnnyE

    JohnnyE

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    We're at a busy public ice rink with a mom and dad and their two young sons, ages six and five. Standing on the ice dad finishes adjusting the laces on the oldest son's skates, and tells him to hold still while he adjusts laces on the younger son's skates. Oldest son looses balance and dad grabs his arm as he falls. Arm get broken and it's off to the ER.

    In the ER, older son is crying and then bellows out "why did daddy have to break my arm?" Oh boy. Sir, please step outside of the curtain, we need to talk to you. Ma'am, please come over here. It got cleared up quickly, but you just never know when or what kind of situation will land in your lap.
     
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  11. JohnnyE

    JohnnyE

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    Scary stuff. I'm glad you made it through.

    A bit of thread drift, but this is something.

    Over 25 years ago a toddler went missing in an upscale suburban mall near my home town. Parents reported it promptly and security locked the mall down tight: no one in or out. People bellyached but cooperated. A search of the mall found the toddler in a restroom, its hair had been cut and clothing was in the process of being changed. Abductors were apprehended and charged. The child was saved. To this day it takes my breath away.
     
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  12. Lucnik

    Lucnik

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    This was in 1984. My oldest son grabbed his crotch and said “Dad it hurts when I squeeze this”. I said well don’t squeeze it then.
     
  13. pAZ Ron

    pAZ Ron

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    Talking about a road trip and where to stop to eat my ~ 3-4 year old granddaughter said "Crapper Barrel". That was her interpretation of what the adults were saying when they said Cracker Barrel.
     
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  14. larry_minn

    larry_minn Silver Member Millennium Member

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    IMO the bank manager needs to learn to deal with the public.

    Daughter asks question. Manager let’s you correct her. Then he addresses her. (Or you depending on how his culture talking to female children not of his family)
    “I was born in a different country. We spoke a different language there. When I learned English I still kept some of my accent. I will try to speak more clearly”
    Maybe make comment. “It’s a reasonable question for a child”

    I might be tempted to say. “As a child I refused to eat any vegetables. My parents told me I should but I refused. Hopefully in another yr in will have are enough to speak clearly”
     
  15. OneBigDude

    OneBigDude

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    My 3 year old daughter wakes up at the crack of dawn. We got her a color changing alarm clock so she could learn when it's OK to get out of bed. All night the thing stays white, turns orange 20 mins before the get out of bed light, and finally green when she's allowed to get out of bed. She loves to tell everyone that she can get out of bed when her cock turns green

    Sent from my Pixel 2 XL using Tapatalk
     
  16. nam02G

    nam02G First throwing ax bullseye.

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    Oh my goodness. So, so, so many with my daughter.

    This one happened just this past weekend, my daughter is 9. We are sitting at a red light trying to turn right. Which is legal in Washington state after stopping and making sure it is safe to turn. We are behind a car that is not moving even though I can see that it is perfectly safe to do so. I asked the rhetorical question, "What are you waiting for?" From the back seat my daughter says, "He's waiting for you to get pissed off."

    When my daughter was very young, and I was still married to her mother, her mother and I were in the habit of bumping uglies whenever and nearly wherever we felt like it. One day we are in the front room of the house and our daughter is in another room watching TV. Things happened and we end up with my ex on top of me without a stitch on and me on the floor. Apparently there was a commercial break or something and my daughter comes in the same room as us. The only thing she says is, "Daddy, your shirt is off."

    Teamwork. Gotta love it.

    So my ex-wife always invited that our daughter learn correct anatomical names of body parts. One day I stop at the grocery store with my daughter to pick up a couple things. I'm carrying my daughter on my shoulders. As we are walking through the store she starts sagging down my back a little. So I did this little pop up to get her back where I wanted her on my shoulders. Next thing I know my three year old (at the time) daughter is shouting out, "Daddy!! You hurt my vulva!" I still managed to get the things we needed.
     
  17. DaveD

    DaveD Ex-Mod Moderator Millennium Member

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    Bank manager is a her not a him. I think she was as surprised as my daughter. The manager is a friend of my wife and I. We all laugh about it now.
     
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  18. JohnnyE

    JohnnyE

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    Tee Hee!

    Have you heard the Frank Zappa classic "Why Does it Hurt When I Pee"?

     
  19. 01coltcolt

    01coltcolt Process Engineer

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    My wife breast feed my youngest son from birth till about 1 years old. We had a hard time weaning him. I used to mess with my wife cause it irritated her, pointing at here breasts and telling my son "Milk". I thought it was hilarious at the time and as he got to be 9-10 months it was a game that made him laugh. Well that bit me in thee butt!

    Fast forward: He was about 14 months old when my wife went on a TDY for 4 months. She's active duty AF So I was single parenting it up for a minute. We lived In Okinawa at the time and I used to take him to the beach on the weekend. He played in the sand and water. We were on our way home and I stopped at a gas station. I'm standing in line to pay, holding my son. He starts pointing over my shoulder and saying "Milk, Look daddy Milk!" I turned around and it was 2 American chicks in their bikini tops. They were mortified, I laughed when I got to the car.
     
  20. larry_minn

    larry_minn Silver Member Millennium Member

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    I was allowing a possible discomfort if he was talking to female.... if both female she should have made it a non issue.
    There is a Mennonite group I interact with half a dozen times a year. The boys crowd around. The girls try to maintain a distance, first yr never spoke toward me...
    I guess now I’m considered harmless. But only if there is a reason to directly talk to me. I try to talk toward group, not make eye contact with girls. I’m not really sure “rules” but don’t want to get them in trouble.
    Others talk how the girls disappear when they stop there. The Hutterites were fun to hand around in the 80s. In one afternoon I disappeared into the group. From “that stranger”. To “Larry”. (Ok kids called by last name).
    I just joined in on repair project I had some knowledge.