Funniest thing your kid ever said when they were little...

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by BIGJC, Jul 29, 2020.

  1. wlkjr

    wlkjr

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    On a late night trip home from a long day at Six Flags, we thought our kids were asleep in the back seat as it was dark. Our 5 year old daughter wakes up and exclaims in a loud voice, " momma, why is your head jumping up and down?"
     
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  2. Bohucka

    Bohucka

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    My son was about 4 and was spinning around the living room with his arms out, making himself dizzy. He looked at me and told me to come and ride the carpet with him.
     

  3. Z71bill

    Z71bill

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    More than just talk.

    We were at Luby's one night - there were a few people in line ahead of us -

    One older guy - I will guess 60 years old, about 75 pounds over weight - and he had on some type of stretch pants - was directly in front of us -

    He drops his car keys on the floor and when he bent over to pick them up - it really put a strain on his stretch pants - my 4 year old son jammed his finger right in the guy's butt crack and then yells out - I GOT YOU!

    The old guy just about jumped out of his pants - I said I was sorry - he was sort of mad but said he had grand-kids that were jokers so he understood.
     
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2020
  4. G19Tony

    G19Tony Sneet CLM

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    You win. :rofl:
     
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  5. Pennsyltucky

    Pennsyltucky

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    I gave my son his first buzz cut with the clippers when he was about 4. He looked in the mirror and said "I don't like it, change it back!".
     
  6. cbetts1

    cbetts1

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    You better let me have another cookie or I'm going to go to the dark side. My oldest son to my wife, under 5.
     
  7. pittpa

    pittpa What did I come in here for?

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    I've driven roads like that.
     
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  8. M7425

    M7425

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    The kiddos are asleep... my wife, not so much now. I woke her up laughing at these tales. Oh well.
     
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  9. pgg00

    pgg00

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    That right there is a good woman. Many should learn to follow her example
     
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  10. John_AZ

    John_AZ

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    I used to think I was an impatient driver until the day my daughter got sick of my driving and jumped up and took over

    4C710D10-BFD0-469D-A0C1-7203E3569517.jpeg
     
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  11. Wasatch

    Wasatch back again

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    A buddy of mine was in a public restroom once, and some other dad brought his young daughter into a crapper stall to keep her safe.

    My buddy hears this little girl say, "Wow, daddy. You're BIG."

    Then the dad's reply:

    "Thanks, sweetie."
     
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  12. Wasatch

    Wasatch back again

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    My oldest boy had some exciting news to announce at my college graduation, in front of a few dozen fellow graduates:

    "Dad! I pooped in the potty!"

    That was a good day.
     
  13. RazorTM

    RazorTM

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    My daughter was 4 or so and had reached the age where she wanted to race against people at everything and loved winning said races. One day, leaving the DMV after renewing my license, she said "let's race to the car." I said "OK" and started running immediately without giving her a chance to count down or anything, giving myself a healthy head start. That apparently destroyed her hopes and dreams because she started crying and then screamed "DON'T BEAT ME, PAPA!"

    I felt all the cold gazes on me. Everyone was staring at the evil man who beats his daughter in public, including a police officer. I had to fix this, fast.

    I stopped and let her run past me as I said "It's OK, you can beat me to the car. You can win the race!" in a fairly loud voice so everyone could hear me. I got her in the car seat and buckled her up as fast as I could, then jumped in and didn't hesitate in leaving the parking lot. Crisis averted...
     
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  14. Batesmotel

    Batesmotel

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    My wife and I went out to dinner and my daughter was watching her two younger brothers. We came home to find blood all over the kitchen, the first aid kit all over the floor and my youngest son with a mass of gauze, bandaids and tape on his chin.

    He was standing between his sister and older brother when we asked him what happened. He started to speak when the other two, in PERFECT unison, slapped their hands over his mouth and said “He fell”.

    We later found out they were playing tag in the house and he split his chin on the edge of the piano.
     
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  15. Z71bill

    Z71bill

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    On a road trip - we pull into the hotel where we had reservations - a sign announced

    "FREE WIFI" it was so long ago that was something special!

    My daughter - maybe 10 asks - what is a whiff - eye?

    So now 20 something years later when we see a similar sign we still say - look they have whiff - eye!
     
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2020
  16. Foxterriermom

    Foxterriermom No place like home

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    These are great! Keep them coming, Ya'll!!
     
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  17. Darkangel1846

    Darkangel1846

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  18. 63Bravo

    63Bravo

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    That’s not a dog, it’s a poodle...

    What’s your doggies name???
    Burly *****!
     
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  19. DaveD

    DaveD Ex-Mod Moderator Millennium Member

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    Three year old granddaughter sitting in bank mangers office with my daughter. Manager has a strong Iranian accent.

    Granddaughter: Why do you talk funny like that?

    Appalled Daughter: M, don't say things like that.

    Bank Manger: Crickets........

    Daughter in car on the way home: M, some people came from other countries and have an accent. You can hurt their feelings if you ask them about it.

    M: Well, she hurt my feelings talking like that.
     
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  20. light-switch

    light-switch Back to work...

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    Uncircumcised heathen alert... Lol

    Sent from my Pixel 2 using Tapatalk
     
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2020
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