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Unfortunately we just had a wonderful woman (MIL) pass away. She was truly a giving person throughout her life. It was quite disappointing watching half of her children grabbing and concerned about their inheritance even before her burial.

It's not unique to my wife's family. My family has seen some really poor behavior at the worst times.

Have you folks experienced this type of behavior in your bad times? It just makes me scratch my head and want to shake them yelling WTF is wrong with you people.
 

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My mother, God rest her, decided she wanted to divide everything up herself.
Gave away her jewelry, CDs, money, cars, etc
When she passed, she had about $2,000 in the bank and a smile on her face seeing her DIL wearing her jewelry and nothing for anyone to argue about.

.
 

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When my daughter was in the hospital - I stayed up in her room for 18 of the 21 nights. She was in a medically induced coma most of the time so it wasn't fun.

A few times every night I would have to leave the room while they did something - so I would go down the hall to the guest area.

You know that the people that are up at the intensive care unit in the middle of the night are there because someone is really sick or about to die.

Some of the arguments I couldn't help but over hear were disgusting.

Grandpa isn't even dead yet and they are already fighting over who gets his car.

Biggest fight - and I mean it almost came to blows was over selling - or not - the house of a dying mother. Seems that one kid (maybe 40) still lived at home and they thought they should be allowed to stay in the house as long as they wanted. With expenses paid by the mom's assets. The other kids wanted the house sold - NOW and they wanted their share of the money.

I also know that some stuff had already been taken out of the mom's house by one kid - while everyone else was at the hospital. What an opportunity - get in while they are busy watching mom die and get all the good stuff you can pack up and move.

Bunch of trash.
 

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I saw my uncle, who never had an unkind word to say to or about anyone, finally lose it and tell my (bitter, greedy and ever meddling aunt, his sister) that if she said one more word he was going to knock her off that chair. I was 12 and it left an impression about the rawness of those times. In another instance, my other grandparent's estate had to be publicly auctioned because 6 siblings couldn't be reasonable. The upside was that I got a WWII SA Dagger that I would have not gotten otherwise.
 

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Unfortunately we just had a wonderful woman (MIL) pass away. She was truly a giving person throughout her life. It was quite disappointing watching half of her children grabbing and concerned about their inheritance even before her burial.

It's not unique to my wife's family. My family has seen some really poor behavior at the worst times.

Have you folks experienced this type of behavior in your bad times? It just makes me scratch my head and want to shake them yelling WTF is wrong with you people.
I've see a lot of it in my work (by the nature of my work the opposite isn't what I get called for).

In my person life experienced the good side of with with my family, and the bad side of it with my wife's family. It was tough to see her have to go through that, not much I could do but support her and tell her that she can only control who she is, not who other people are.

Best wishes for positive direction
 

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Luckily. when my Mother went, she was still sharp until the last two or three days. She got to see and talk with all of us 7 kids and then just faded away. No problem with any who got what. Two of my sisters had been very good caretakers for her in her final years, so it was without question that they got whatever "inheritance" was left.
We actually had some good laughs after the funeral telling stories and seeing some old family friends. Maybe it's an Irish thing coming out of our genes.
But I have seen some families fight over stuff before the body is cold.
 

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Always have a plan in place where your stuff and your body goes when you die. It ain't rocket science. Write it down and make sure a lawyer knows about it.
 

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When my grandmother died her sisters got into the house the morning of the funeral and took all of the jewelry and watches. Even her late husbands things. My mom got nothing. One aunt even wore my grandmothers 18th century crystal necklace to the funeral.

People suck.
 

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My mother, God rest her, decided she wanted to divide everything up herself.
Gave away her jewelry, CDs, money, cars, etc
When she passed, she had about $2,000 in the bank and a smile on her face seeing her DIL wearing her jewelry and nothing for anyone to argue about.

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That goes in the win column. I've told my mom I hope her last act on earth is a great meal and payment with a bad check.

My sisters and I joke about who has pissed off Mom enough this week to be written out of the will.

Every piece of furniture in her house has a piece of tape with the name of whomever she wants to have it written on it, and she is constantly sorting and resorting stuff to try to clear out the 'clutter', as she calls it (like there has ever been a single thing out of place EVER in her house) so we don't have to do it when she is gone.

Hell, it gives her something to do.
 
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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Several folks have indicated the importance of a will. I fully agree. In this case, the will was there but it's become quite petty...even over trinkets.
 

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My adopted Bro was cleaning out Dads shop, selling tools at scrap metal yards as we were taking him off life support. He’s a low life meth head who is sitting in jail now, hope he stays a long time.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
In my person life experienced the good side of with with my family, and the bad side of it with my wife's family. It was tough to see her have to go through that, not much I could do but support her and tell her that she can only control who she is, not who other people are.

Best wishes for positive direction
Thanks. With my family, I'm good at ignoring them. I'm too thick skinned. The wife's side has proven more challenging. While I can easily handle it on my side, she gets stuck with direct interaction with her sisters. Like you say, I support her and try to put it all in perspective. That's about all I do. To give you an idea, one person grabbed a small trinket from a child with disabilities because she was claiming anything and everything as hers.
 

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My mother, God rest her, decided she wanted to divide everything up herself.
Gave away her jewelry, CDs, money, cars, etc
When she passed, she had about $2,000 in the bank and a smile on her face seeing her DIL wearing her jewelry and nothing for anyone to argue about.

.
Very similar for my grandmother. if you gave it to her, you were to get it back. if you did not want it back then gift it to your choice. then her will stated everything including the daily dishes. not that there would have been a problem but it was insurance. 2 generations later, my younger brother thought that if selling dads house to older brother for fair market value, thought he and i should be entitled to 33% each of the profits if the house was sold at a later date
 
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