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fun with telemarketing

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by lethal tupperwa, Mar 8, 2003.

  1. lethal tupperwa

    lethal tupperwa

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    Location:
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    Ok, this is too funny!! You have to read it to the end though!!

    I was at home the other night in the middle of my dinner when the phone
    rang.
    ME: Hello.

    AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T ...

    ME: Is this AT&T.?

    AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ....

    ME: This is AT&T.?

    AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ....

    ME: Is this AT&T.?

    AT&T: Yes! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr.Byron, please.?

    ME: May I ask who is calling.?

    AT&T: This is AT&T.

    ME: Ok, hold on.

    At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking
    that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much
    to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting.

    ME: Hello.?

    AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron.?

    ME: May I ask who is calling, please.?

    AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ..
    .
    ME: This is AT&T.?

    AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...

    ME: The phone company.?

    AT&T: Yes, sir.

    ME: I thought you said this was AT&T.

    AT&T: Yes, sir, we are a phone company.

    ME: I already have a phone.

    AT&T: We aren't selling phones today, Mr. Byron. We would like to offer you
    10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

    ME: Now, that's 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day?

    AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes,
    sir, that's right! 24 hours a day!

    ME: 7 days a week.?

    AT&T: That's right.

    ME: 365 days a year.?

    AT&T: Yes, sir.

    ME: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing!

    AT&T: We think so!

    ME: That's quite a sum of money!

    AT&T: Yes, sir, it's amazing how it adds up.

    ME: Ok, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at
    the end of the year for the full $52,560; and if you send an annual check,
    can I get a cash advance.?

    AT&T: Excuse me.?

    ME: You know, the 10 cents a minute.

    AT&T: What are you talking about.?

    ME: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week,
    365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1008 per week and $52,560 per
    year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making payment.

    AT&T: Oh, no, sir. I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a
    minute.

    ME: Wait a minute, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10
    cents a minute, that I'll give YOU
    10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing
    scheme.? I've read about things like this in the Enquirer, you know.

    AT&T: No, sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for ...

    ME: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please.?

    AT&T: Sir, I don't think that is necessary.

    ME: I insist on speaking to a supervisor.!

    AT&T: Yes, Mr. Byron. Please hold.

    At this point, I begin trying to finish my dinner.

    SUPERVISOR: Mr. Byron.?

    ME: Yeth.?

    SUPERVISOR: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a
    minute program.

    ME: Is This A T & T.?

    SUPERVISOR: Yes, sir, it sure is.

    ME: (I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to
    suppress my laughter and I had to
    be careful not to produce a snort.) No, actually, I was just waiting for
    someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan.

    SUPERVISOR: Ok, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who was
    helping you.

    ME: Thank you.

    I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls. I need to end
    this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the
    other end of the phone.

    AT&T: Hello, Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in
    signing up for our plan.?

    ME: No, but I was wondering - do you have that "Friends and Family" thing
    because I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little brother...

    AT&T: click........
     
  2. Kungen

    Kungen

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  3. scooterbear

    scooterbear

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    I like it!!!!

    I always let my Four Year old talk to the Telamarketers.;a