Fulfilling needs

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by ReAX222, Aug 30, 2007.

  1. ReAX222

    ReAX222

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    When Girls Don't Put Out.


    One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me. I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every man on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
    She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said,"Lets get a pair for each outfit." We went on to the jewelery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited.

    She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

    She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?" I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least she knows I'm smarter than her.
     
  2. pupcuss27

    pupcuss27 CLM

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  3. Ranger.357

    Ranger.357

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  4. whogasak47

    whogasak47 JPFO-GOA

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    I hope I live long enough to use this in real life. Good Luck and Ride Safe:thumbsup: