Found on tombstones!

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by lethal tupperwa, May 30, 2003.

  1. lethal tupperwa

    lethal tupperwa

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    Aug 20, 2002
    Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York: "Born 1903-Died 1942
    Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down.
    It was."

    In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery: "Here lies an Atheist.
    All dressed up And no place to go."

    On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:
    "Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102.
    The Good Die Young."

    In a London, England cemetery: "Here lies Ann Mann,
    Who lived an old maid but died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767."

    In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
    "Anna Wallace:
    The children of Israel wanted bread,
    And the Lord sent them manna.
    Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
    And the Devil sent him Anna."

    In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
    "Here lies Johnny Yeast.
    Pardon me For not rising."

    In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery:
    "Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
    Stepped on the gas instead of the brake."

    In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery: "Here lays The Kid.
    We planted him raw.
    He was quick on the trigger
    But slow on the draw."

    A lawyer's epitaph in England: "Sir John Strange.
    Here lies an honest lawyer.
    And that is Strange."

    John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:
    "Reader, if cash thou art in want of any,
    Dig 6 feet deep;
    And thou wilt find a Penny."

    In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
    "On the 22nd of June,
    Jonathan Fiddle Went out of tune."

    Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont: "Here lies the body of our
    Done to death by a banana.
    It wasn't the fruit that laid her low,
    But the skin of the thing that made her go."

    On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
    "Under the sod and under the trees,
    Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
    He is not here, there's only the pod.
    Pease shelled out and went to God."

    In a cemetery in England: "Remember man, as you walk by,
    As you are now, so once was I.
    As I am now, so shall you be.
    Remember this and follow me."

    To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:
    "To follow you I'll not consent,
    until I know which way you went"

    And last but not least, in Key West: "I told you I was sick!"