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For those who love the philosophy of hypocrisy and ambiguity

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by lethal tupperwa, Jun 27, 2003.

  1. lethal tupperwa

    lethal tupperwa

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    1. Should attempted suicide be considered a crime
    that warrants the death penalty

    2. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

    3. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.....

    4. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

    5. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and
    apes?

    6. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad
    girls live.

    7. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman,
    "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would
    defeat the purpose.

    8. What if there were no hypothetical questions?

    9. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

    10. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it
    considered a hostage situation?

    11. Is there another word for synonym?

    12. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

    13. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered
    plant?

    14. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

    15. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

    16. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will
    clean them?

    17. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

    18. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

    19. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to
    remain silent?

    20. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines? (Somebody
    please explain THIS ONE tome) (I know there's a logical explanation, but it
    escapes me)

    21. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?

    22. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

    23. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

    24. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

    25. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy
    adultery?

    26. How is it possible to have a civil war?


    27. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?

    28. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

    29. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

    30. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?

    31. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?

    32. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

    33. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

    34. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become
    disoriented?

    35. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?