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for those 50ish and over

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by lethal tupperwa, Jan 16, 2004.

  1. lethal tupperwa

    lethal tupperwa

    Messages:
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    Aug 20, 2002
    Location:
    Virginia
    Three old pilots are walking on the ramp.
    First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"
    Second one says, "No, its Thursday!"
    Third one says, "So am I. Lets go get a beer."
    ------------------------------------
    A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new
    hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state
    of the art. It's perfect."!
    "Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?"
    "Twelve thirty."
    ------------------------------------
    Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to
    get a physical.
    A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking
    down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his
    arm.
    A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris
    and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"
    Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc";
    'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.' "
    The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You got
    a heart murmur. Be careful.'"
    ----- -------------------------------
    As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway,
    his car phone rang.
    Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently
    ! warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news
    that there's a car going the wrong way on
    Interstate 280. Please be careful!"
    "It's not just one car," said Herman. "It's hundreds
    of them!"
    ----------------------------------------
    An elderly gent was invited to his old friends'
    home for dinner one evening. He was impressed
    by the way his buddy preceded every request to
    his wife with endearing terms-Honey, My Love,
    Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc... The couple
    had been married almost 70 years, and clearly
    they were still very much in love. While the wife
    was in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said
    to his host, "I think it's wonderful that, after all
    these years, you still call your wife those loving
    pet na! mes."
    The old man hung his head. "I have to tell you the
    truth," he said, "I forgot her name about 10 years
    ago.