Female stages of life

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by pesticidal, Nov 8, 2002.

  1. pesticidal

    pesticidal Eh? CLM

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    I was going to post this on the thread on why women have issues, but on second thought, I figured I'd get flamed less if was posted under the humor section...;f


    Female Stages of Life

    AGE DRINK

    17 - Wine Coolers
    25 - White wine
    35 - Red wine
    48 - Dom Perignon
    66 - Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser

    EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES

    17 - Need to wash my hair
    25 - Need to wash and condition my hair
    35 - Need to colour my hair
    48 - Need to have Francois colour my hair
    66 - Need to have Francois colour my wig

    FAVORITE SPORT

    17 - shopping
    25 - shopping
    35 - shopping
    48 - shopping
    66 - shopping

    DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE

    17 - "Burger King"
    25 - "Free meal"
    35 - "A diamond"
    48 - "A bigger diamond"
    66 - "Home Alone"

    FAVORITE FANTASY

    17 - tall, dark and handsome
    25 - tall, dark and handsome with money
    35 - tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain
    48 - a man with hair
    66 - a man

    HOUSE PET

    17 - Muffy the cat
    25 - Unemployed boyfriend and Muffy the Cat
    35 - German Shepherd and Muffy the Cat
    48 - Children from his first marriage and Muffy the Cat
    66 - Retired husband dabbles in taxidermy, stuffs Muff the Cat

    WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?

    17 - 17
    25 - 25
    35 - 35
    48 - 48
    66 - 66

    IDEAL DATE

    17 - He offers to pay
    25 - He pays
    35 - He cooks breakfast the next morning
    48 - He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids
    66 - He can chew his breakfast