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"Famous Sexy Quotes"

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Glockdude1, Jun 24, 2004.

  1. Glockdude1

    Glockdude1 Federal Member CLM

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    "Famous Sexy Quotes"

    "Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner,
    you'd better have a good hand." Woody Allen

    "Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday
    night." Rodney Dangerfield

    "There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual
    arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz
    600SL convertible." Lynn Lavner

    "Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." Camille
    Paglia

    "Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation. The other eight are
    unimportant." George Burns

    "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole
    relationship." Sharon Stone

    "Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men.
    Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
    Tiger Woods

    "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-b*tch."
    Jack Nicholson

    "Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives,
    but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." Barbara Bush
    (Former US First Lady, and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of
    humor)

    "Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's
    genitals through his wallet." Robin Williams

    "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
    Billy Crystal

    "According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable
    undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other
    women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men
    are just grateful." Robert De Niro

    "There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are
    having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe
    swelling. So what's the problem?" Dustin Hoffman

    "There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think,
    'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked'." Jerry
    Seinfeld

    "See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a P#nis, and only
    enough blood to run one at a time." Robin Williams

    " It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up
    whom." Joan Rivers

    " Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences
    money can buy." Steve Martin

    " You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older.
    Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff
    you pay good money for in later life." Elmo Phillips

    " Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
    Oscar Wilde

    " It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."

    George Burns

    ;N
     
  2. milkdud

    milkdud

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    Great post. Man, the TRUTH not only hurts, but is many times, REALLY FUNNY!
     

  3. Glockdude1

    Glockdude1 Federal Member CLM

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    " It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."

    George Burns


    That one is my favorite...........

    ;N
     
  4. AZLS1

    AZLS1 Faster Everyday

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    How are these two sexy???
     
  5. engineer151515

    engineer151515

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    Lauren Bacall speaks, in a dreamy voice, to Humphrey Bogart

    "You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? Just put your lips together, and blow"


    I remembering hearing that line when I was about 7 years old. I didn't really have a big interest in girls yet, but even I could see sparks fly!
     
  6. 10hasteeth

    10hasteeth

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    my fav.. it's been so long since I had sex, someone asked me if I was getting any on the side, and I didn't even know they had moved it!
     
  7. pizzaaguy

    pizzaaguy

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    "Guys spend the first nine months of their lives trying to get out,
    and the rest of their lives trying to get back in."
    -Anonymous :cool:
     
  8. Nowhere Man

    Nowhere Man

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    I don't get it.

    Dave
     
  9. pizzaaguy

    pizzaaguy

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    Short and to-the-point...well said. ;)

    OH...and me neither.;1
     
  10. Nowhere Man

    Nowhere Man

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    Now you call me short? I still don't get it.;f