How to score: 0 if the statement is never true, 1 if it is rarely true, 2 if it is sometimes true, and 3 if it is always true. 1. ___ Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then "we can talk." 2. ___ the school principal has your number on speed-dial. 3. ___ the cat is on Valium. 4. ___ People have trouble understanding your kids, because they learned to speak through clenched teeth. 5. ___ you are trying to get your four-year-old to switch to decaf. 6. ___ the number of jobs held down by family members exceeds the number of people in the family. 7. ___ No one has time to wait for microwave TV dinners. 8. ___ "Family meetings" are often mediated by law enforcement officials. 9. ___ you have to check your kid's day-planner to see if he can take out the trash. 10.___ No-Doze gives you bulk rates. How you rate: 30 - A perfect score. Welcome to the neighborhood! 20-29 - You are doing reasonably well, but still have too little going on in your life. Crank it up. 10-19 - You have mastered some of the aspects of the stress-filled life, but still have a long way to go. Have you considered a parallel career path? 0- 9 - Enjoying all that extra time? What do you do anyway?