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Family, Death, Funerals and other things

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by 427, Apr 17, 2012.

  1. 427

    427

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    Last week my uncle died after a battling a laundry list of health problems. He was a good man, and I've never heard anyone say a bad word about him. He was my favorite.

    When my dad was going through chemo, my uncle was there offering his support and I really go to know him. I'm glad I got to spend time with him before he passed. I'm sad he's gone, but he's not suffering anymore.

    Well, the days prior to his death there was a lot of un-needed drama from the youngest uncle who caused hate and discontent among my cousins by bringing up the past, asking about who gets what from my dying uncle, and just being an unpleasant person. I wanted to say something, but it wasn't my place. It was sad really, especially coming from a 70+yo man. He brought a black cloud, that just pi$$ed everyone off. He was persona non grata with quite a few people, though. I'll never understand why times like this brings out the worst in people.

    The good part was that relatives from all over the region came in to celebrate his life. A majority were elderly who made 8hr+ drives. Out of the orginal 11 brothers and sisters the remaining 5 were there.

    When we had the rosary, over 30 retired firefighters, showed up (my uncle was a retired fire chief), it was moving. The stories of his time in the FD were things I never knew quite funny.

    Today, we buried him. We had a tour of the city passing the fire stations where he spent his time. My cousin arranged a police escort that included the local PD and the SO. I thought it was impressive!

    What was funny, not funny ha ha, but funny sad, was that a car tried to, despite seeing all of the flashing lights and police vehicles, sneak into the procession and he was swarmed in seconds. Idiot.

    When we got to the grave side there was a color guard, he was a Coastie along with the fire bell. The oldest remaining brother showed up in his dress blues. He's almost 90 and was a combat engineer in the Pacific in WW2. Post war he was in the Middle East working for and intelligence agency. He's an impressive man!

    For me, the best part was seeing my dad with most energy he's has since he'd stopped chemo.

    It's unfortunate that deaths bring families together, but it was good to see them anyways! I hope I see them again, just not under these circumstances.

    Thanks for reading my random thoughts.

    Matt aka 427
     
  2. stolenphot0

    stolenphot0 RTF2 Addict

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    Sorry for the loss of your uncle. It's beyond my comprehension why the vultures come out around someone's death. It happened when my neighbor's mother died a couple years ago.

    When my grandparents died, my dad and aunt decided that we would get what we wanted from their house with everyone around discussing it. They were average folks. We got things for sentimental value, not monetary. Everything left was sold and split down the middle between them.

    Sounds like your uncle lived a remarkable life and left many memories for a lot of folks. I enjoyed hearing stories of my grandfather and his hunting/construction jobs. He worked almost every day of his life from the time he was 7. Tobacco fields, construction, factory (where he lost a finger) and so much more.

    When we were taking him to the cemetery we drove through Happy Holler where they made moonshine back in the day.
     

  3. thanospro

    thanospro Bring it.

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    I'm in the business...I see the occasional ****** come in and practically ruin it for everybody else. Some people just want to create attention for themselves. It's good to see the community come together to see somebody out like that. I know it meant a lot for the family. Sorry for your loss but I'm glad you got to know him before it was too late. I too only see extended family at funerals anymore. It won't be long and I'll be part the older generation.
     
  4. Rick O'Shay

    Rick O'Shay

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    There's a worm in every sack of apples, it seems. It shouldn't take away from the quality of the others.
    I can't think of a better tribute than you just gave to your uncle. You have honored his life quite well among the GT crowd.
    An impressive family you have there.
     
  5. IndianaMatt

    IndianaMatt

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    Sorry for your loss. My sympathies.

    We have a very serious illness in my family at the moment. Its is a strange thing how these things bring out all types of bonds and relationships in the family that are not apparent when everything is peachy.

    Life is a mystery. I know this sounds cliche, but the longer I live, the less I seem to understand about life, death, and the cycle.
     
  6. Caver 60

    Caver 60

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    Family member rivalry can be some of the worst. Seen it happen in my family and the wife's family and with many friends family. Also seen many close families and good times memories like with your uncle. No wonder nations can't get along.

    Glad you had good experiences with the rest of the family. And that your uncle got the honor he deserved.

    Probably the worse thing I've seen happened in my wife's family. An uncle died and left 800 acres of valuable land to his three children share and share alike. The one sister found someone willing to pay 44 million for the land. This sister went and tried to buy out her brother and other sister for a million apiece.

    She was not content to split 44 million three ways, she wanted the whole thing. Fortunately the other brother and sister were smart enough not to let her get away with it.
     
  7. smokeross

    smokeross GTDS Member #49

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    There is always somebody ready and willing to do some kicking when another is down.
     
  8. Brucev

    Brucev

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    Very sorry to read of your loss. In the worst of times there are people who do the most outrageous things. I've seen people going through a house/bedroom while the deceased lay in the bed and the family was in the living room. I've seen one family where one brother hired workers/truck to empty furniture out of his mother's house while he and his siblings were at the funeral. But, in similar situations I've also seen extremely gracious acts of kindness and decency that defied expectation, acts that were emotionally and financially difficult to give and receive.
     
  9. deputy tom

    deputy tom

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  10. janice6

    janice6 Silver Member

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    When the chips are down, being family doesn't make people any better persons then they already are.

    I have been very dissipointed in "family" when a death occurs. The ones that are only out for what they can get are disgusting. I have seen it in my family and my in-laws family.

    "Getting something free" is all that matters to many now.
     
  11. IndyGunFreak

    IndyGunFreak

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    This is so true.

    This is why I tell people all the time, even if you think you "don't have anything"... drawing up a living will is reasonably inexpensive. Legal Zoom makes it simple and it's just inexcusable that people don't do this.

    You can bet for sure that even if you "don't have anything" in life, when you die, every vulture in your family will be there to argue about every little thing you did have. It's just sad.. I've saw a friends family literally torn apart over this sort of nonsense.

    Sorry for your loss 427. Sounds like a life well lived.
     
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2012
  12. eruby

    eruby

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    Very sorry for your loss 427.

    When my mom died, my sisterwas the scum of the earth, but I gave my mom my word I wouldn't rip into my sister. People show their true colors when it comes to death and money.

    After the estate was settled, I simply said to her what Michael said to Fredo:

    "You're nothing to me now. You're not a sister and you're not a friend. I don't want to know you or what you do."

    I have total peace with what I did.

    Again, very sorry for your loss.
     
  13. larry_minn

    larry_minn Silver Member Millennium Member

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    I have seen a lot of hurt at funerals. One neighbor died in a rather strange manner (anyone who knew him said "thats not possible fro Charlie")
    Well his "brother" showed up and were the most rude/ unkept/ inbred folks I have EVER met. They were nasty....
    They wanted a cheap box, toss it in ground. Well it was SRO and folks set it up so we had (minus drinks) a "Irish wake" His brother/brother's kids looked dang uncomfortable.

    Then the brother comes up with a check (uncashed) from @ two yrs before. He wants to let us know he is going to cash it. I bought from Charlie, paid by check, @2 months later he said "I lost the check, can't fine it" We looked. So stop payment on check, new check for $1 less (and gave him a buck. At time Charlie said the only person who had been in his house (other then semi live in GF who wouldn't steal from anyone) was his brother.
    So we ask "where did you find it?" He says the box. So call him a liar as that box had been gone thru many times. Then he says "in glove box in pickup" Told him he still is liar. Charlie didn't own that truck then.
    Only time I can recall considering decking a family member of decesed at funeral.

    Glad I didn't. KARMA is real. Not 3 months later he keels over DRT. I do wonder if his kids learned that from dear old dad????
     
  14. 427

    427

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    Thanks, everybody.

    Being the modest man that my uncle was, I think he'd say people were fussing too much over him but I know he'd be happy. He was a good man.

    Here's the obit
    http://obits.abqjournal.com/obits/show/225034
     
  15. johnd

    johnd

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    Sorry for your loss, always find these family posts to be interesting. I was abandoned in a camp as a small boy have any family other than that that I made myself. I was ferile for years and eventually did it all myself. There was no other option.
    The "family" tried to rejoin me many many years later and I rejected them all.
    It appears to be a blessing.
     
  16. Zell

    Zell IrregularMember

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    I'm sorry to hear of this great man's passing.

    What an impressive man and life he had. The fact all those people came to his funeral says a lot about the kind of man he was and how good of a friend and person he must have been. And your 90 year old uncle coming in full-dress uniform. Again, I'm impressed. What a great family you have.

    It always amazes me that we seem to find out about all the accomplishments of a person, and what kind of person they were, when they die. I had an aunt die a while back and I learned so much about her at her funeral. She had rich, productive, wonderful life that I never knew about. I wish I knew these things about my mom's sister along time ago. I would have treated her better as a kid.:supergrin:

    All the very best to you and your family.