Ever Handle a Call Like this one?

Naked people: yep, but none that crazy.

Last one was a naked guy pounding on an apartment door...except it wasn't dispatched as a naked guy. Turns out he had gone home with the occupant of the apartment after meeting him at a bar, had tried to force himself on the resident, to include manually strangling him, and then for some reason, passed out. Resident called his neighbors, who dragged the passed out turd in to the hall, naked. Turd wakes up and breaks the door open, but it is being held back by the people inside when I arrive. Take the turd in to custody.

When all is said and done he (turd) goes to jail for public intoxication only as the tenant does not want to prosecute for the burglary or assault with intent to commit sexual abuse.

 

DBBR

Nice late-night call you had right there. A litany of interweaved stories begging to be later recounted in their entirety to the wife unit (or at least all of your patrol partners and neighboring units) no doubt.

 

Remember that crazy acting people can become just about instantly deadly felons and often were before our first encounter with them.

http://www.odmp.org/officer/2005-police-officer-richard-allen-boles
http://www.odmp.org/officer/12930-police-officer-david-henry-strzalkowski

http://www.nytimes.com/1988/11/29/us/2-miami-policemen-slain-in-struggle.html

 

My first guess was that I was going to end up fighting with him. Disrobing + yelling + violent, erratic behavior = E.D. Fortunately, he was just drunk and horny.

 

So did you get him another drink or

 

I was the passenger in a 2-man unit slowly driving along a dark street during a night shift one time, checking the area after receiving a report of a woman heard calling out for help somewhere along the street. You know, creeping along with the windows down looking & listening.

Suddenly, this naked blond woman rushes out of some bushes at the front of a yard next to the sidewalk and leaps onto the hood of our car, spread-eagle like some giant starfish, looking at us through the windshield. My partner stopped the car and we reported that we might have found her, or her us, at any rate.

You lose track of the numerous calls and incidents involving naked people over the years, but that one sort of sticks out in my mind.

 

Not a Cop but I remember hearing these two calls ~20 years ago in Boulder County (Colorado)

Dispatch: Report of large intoxicated male walking down XYZ street, punching out car windows. . Is there a unit available?

Crickets. . . .

Dispatch: 811 are you available?
811: Sorry, I'm still out on this other call doing bla bla bla.

Dispatch: 823 are you available?
823: Another lame excuse

and so on. .

She eventually found someone to handle the call.

5 Minutes Later

Dispatch: Report of two naked teen having sex in the back yard pool at 123 ABC street

833: I'll take it!
845: I'll back him up
817: I'll take a run past there

Dispatch: Where the hell were all you guys 5 minutes ago?

 

Was she a Hooker named TJ?

 

Yes to the first, no to the second ...

 

A few...they all involved drugs. Normally a naked person call is a sign of bad things to come.

 

When they are naked, it's rarely ever good naked. It's always slimy, sweaty, bloody, STD-infested, waste of my taxes going to support this mope naked.

Although, I always enjoy a good prank on the new boots. I take them to the hotel conventions on "theme" nights. Lots of 300lb+ almost naked women gyrating on skinny men is a sight to be seen. They get real excited to see the new police officers - their eyes light up like it's feeding time. Nom nom nom.

 

I once responded to a a call of a naked man running through an apartment parking lot covered in feces. Turns out he stored his own feces for a week beforehand. I let my rookie handle that one!

mental patient off his meds.

 

Naked and shimmying up a pole?

Oh lordy, the things I could do with that statement . . .

 

One July a few years back, I had 3 naked women on 3 different calls. All were blonde and great looking. One was absolutely crazy, one had just been shot (in a very private area) and one had attempted suicide. The last one was smoking hot. I had to restrain her while a female police officer helped dress her. The female cop, mother of twins, said to me after "I'm not into women, but that girl was the most beautiful girl I've ever seen". I had to agree.
It unhinged me enough to call in sick the last 2 days of July, figured the month was a wash and no good would come from going into work.

 

You're going to see a lot of naked people on this job. Just no one that you would actually want to see naked.

 

My district had TWO naked people calls just tonight. Weird.

 

You know, for the nastiest, tweaked out piece of human detritus walking around naked, I'll get 19 cars headed my way, from all over the county. Why? Everyone knows there is no "good naked" in law enforcement. I hear a call like that, I'm not going there unless dispatched or the guys on the call really need help.

 

Naked starts a call just like "off their medication..." does.

 

We had a naked guy run from us, go over a fence and climb a radio tower. Stayed up there for several hours. It was strange when it got dark. From a distance, all you could see was black sky with a naked guy in the spotlight.

Oh ya, and it was cold out.