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Ever get caught by those telemarketers?

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Bannack, Jul 19, 2003.

  1. Bannack

    Bannack

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    Joined:
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    Location:
    NW Montana
    I was at home the other night in the middle of my dinner when the phone rang


    ME: Hello.

    AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T .

    ME: Is this AT&T?

    AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ....

    ME: This is AT&T?

    AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ....

    ME: Is this AT&T?

    AT&T: Yes! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr. Peuianka please?

    ME: May I ask who is calling?

    AT&T: This is AT&T.

    ME: Ok, hold on.

    At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that,
    surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my
    surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting.

    ME: Hello?

    AT&T: Is this Mr. Paunika?

    ME: May I ask who is calling, please?

    AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...

    ME: This is AT&T?

    AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...

    ME: The phone company?

    AT&T: Yes, sir.

    ME: I thought you said this was AT&T.

    AT&T: Yes, sir, we are a phone company.

    ME: I already have a phone.

    AT&T: We aren't selling phones today, Mr. Pouniska. We would like to offer
    you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

    ME: Now, that's 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day?

    AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes, sir, that
    s right! 24 hours a day!

    ME: 7 days a week?

    AT&T: That's right.

    ME: 365 days a year?

    AT&T: Yes, sir.

    ME: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing!

    AT&T: We think so!

    ME: That's quite a sum of money!

    AT&T: Yes, sir, it's amazing how it adds up.

    ME: Ok, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at
    the end of the year for the full $52,560; and if you send an annual check,
    can I get a cash advance?

    AT&T: Excuse me?

    ME: You know, the 10 cents a minute.

    AT&T: What are you talking about?

    ME: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week,
    365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1008 per week and $52,560 per
    year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making payment.

    AT&T: Oh, no, sir. I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a
    minute.

    ME: Wait a minute, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10
    cents a minute, that I'll give YOU 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of
    subliminal telemarketing scheme? I've read about things like this in the
    Enquirer, you know.

    AT&T: No, sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for .

    ME: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please?

    AT&T: Sir, I don't think that is necessary.

    ME: I insist on speaking to a supervisor!

    AT&T: Yes, Mr. Per...Pou...Pianukie. Please hold. (At this point, I begin
    trying to finish my dinner.)

    SUPERVISOR: Mr. Paurfitki?

    ME: Yeth?

    SUPERVISOR: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a
    minute program.

    ME: Is this A T & T?

    SUPERVISOR: Yes, sir, it sure is.

    (I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to
    suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a snort.)

    ME: No, actually, I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I
    could sign up for the plan.

    SUPERVISOR: Ok, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who was
    helping you.

    ME: Thank you.

    I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls. I need to end
    this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the
    other end of the phone.

    AT&T: Hello, Mr. Poliftka, I understand that you are interested in signing
    up for our plan?

    ME: No, but I was wondering - do you have that "Friends and Family" thing
    because I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little brother...

    AT&T: click........
     
  2. Wayne913

    Wayne913

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    Location:
    Minot ND
    He He He. gotta remember that one for next time MCI calls me. At least it sounds like you were speaking with someone who could actually speak and understand English. Now if congress REALLY wanted to do something to help people, they'd make telemarketing a class A felony.
     

  3. David_G17

    David_G17 /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

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    i was thinking more like grounds for a justifiable homicide.
     
  4. wireless

    wireless

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    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2002
    Location:
    Mississippi
    You guys she be so lucky to live in a state where there are laws to prevent harassing telemarketing calls. Here in MS, where David_G17 and I reside, you just call the state attorney general's office and have your name added to the "NO CALL LIST". Then no unwanted parties can call and solicit you EXCEPT for car dealers, funeral homes, insurance companies, financial institutions, charities, clubs, non-profit organizations, and the list goes on and on! With all of the EXCEPTIONS to the law, it was a waste of a good paper drawing up this legislation.

    Any way, I signed up for the list and my phone rings more now than it did before the law was passed. I believe the attorney general sold my phone number to every telemarketing agency in America. I guess the state has to bring in revenue some how.;Q