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Epitaphs From Actual Tombstones

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by Dalton Wayne, Mar 12, 2010.

  1. Dalton Wayne

    Dalton Wayne Epic mustache Millennium Member

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    EPITAPHS FROM ACTUAL TOMBSTONES

    On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery,

    Nova Scotia:
    Here lies
    Ezekial Aikle
    Age 102
    The Good
    Die Young.

    In a London, England cemetery:

    Ann Mann
    Here lies Ann Mann,
    Who lived an old maid
    But died an old Mann.
    Dec. 8, 1767

    In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:

    Anna Wallace
    The children of Israel wanted bread
    And the Lord sent them manna,
    Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
    And the Devil sent him Anna.

    In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:

    Here lies
    Johnny Yeast
    Pardon me
    For not rising.

    Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery:

    Here lies the body
    of Jonathan Blake
    Stepped on the gas
    Instead of the brake.

    In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:

    Here lays Butch,
    We planted him raw.
    He was quick on the trigger,
    But slow on the draw.

    A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery:

    Sacred to the memory of
    my husband John Barnes
    who died January 3, 1803
    His comely young widow, aged 23, has
    many qualifications of a good wife, and
    yearns to be comforted.

    A lawyer's epitaph in England:

    Sir John Strange
    Here lies an honest lawyer,
    And that is Strange.

    Someone determined to be anonymous in Stowe, Vermont:

    I was somebody.
    Who, is no business
    Of yours.

    Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for Naco,

    Arizona in the
    cowboy days of the 1880's. He's buried in the Boot Hill
    Cemetery in
    Tombstone,
    Arizona:
    Here lies Lester Moore
    Four slugs from a .44
    No Les No Moore.

    In a Georgia cemetery:

    "I told you I was sick!"

    John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:

    Reader if cash thou art
    In want of any
    Dig 4 feet deep
    And thou wilt find a Penny.

    On Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery Richmond,

    Virginia:
    She always said her feet were killing her
    but nobody believed her.

    In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:

    On the 22nd of June
    Jonathan Fiddle
    Went out of tune.

    Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont has an

    epitaph that sounds
    like something from a Three Stooges movie:
    Here lies the body of our Anna
    Done to death by a banana
    It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
    But the skin of the thing that made her go.

    More fun with names with Owen Moore in Battersea, London,

    England:
    Gone away
    Owin' more
    Than he could pay.

    Someone in Winslow, Maine didn't like Mr. Wood:

    In Memory of Beza Wood
    Departed this life
    Nov. 2, 1837
    Aged 45 yrs.
    Here lies one Wood
    Enclosed in wood
    One Wood
    Within another.
    The outer wood
    Is very good:
    We cannot praise
    The other.

    On a grave from the 1880's in Nantucket, Massachusetts:

    Under the sod and under the trees
    Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
    He is not here, there's only the pod:
    Pease shelled out and went to God.

    The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pennsylvania is almost a

    consumer tip:
    Who was fatally burned
    March 21, 1870
    by the explosion of a lamp
    filled with "R.E. Danforth's
    Non-Explosive Burning Fluid"

    Oops! Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:

    Born 1903--Died 1942
    Looked up the elevator shaft to see if
    the car was on the way down. It was.

    In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:

    Here lies an Atheist
    All dressed up
    And no place to go.

    And two I will never forget!

    For a Scot:

    Here lies Martin Elginbrod,

    Hae mercy on my soul Lord God,
    as I would do were I Lord God,
    and ye were Martin Elginbrod!

    or:


    Here lies my wife.

    Tears cannot bring
    her back.
    Therefore I cry!

    Regards
    DW
     
  2. packinaglock

    packinaglock John 3:16

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    I had a cousin (he was a member of the Outlaw MC gang) his is interesting, but I can't post it on here.
     

  3. wavetrain75

    wavetrain75 Useless Member

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    Rodney Dangerfield:

    "There goes the neighborhood."
     
  4. Cheseldine

    Cheseldine Texan

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    Those are awesome, thanks for the interesting read.
     
  5. Governor

    Governor NRA member

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    A friend of a friend that died far too young of an autoimmune diease, was always in good spirits, and a very funny guy who always put smiles on everyone's face... He wrote his own, because he knew he was going to die...

    "Here lies Ed, dead."
     
  6. badr1

    badr1

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    Theres one in an old cemetery in meigs county it's almost worn clean but we rubbed it a few years ago it' cool but creepy

    "Stop there stranger as you walk by, please stay a few but do not cry.
    For once as you so was I. Go on your way but know its true soon as me so will be you"

    I'll try to find the rubbing and scan it onto here. the guy was a horse thief in the mid 1800's and killed for it from what I have found online. I spent several hours researching him because it's the coolest tombstone i have found
     
  7. j-glock22

    j-glock22

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    My wife can't stop laughing..... and shes pregnant, so it makes it worse. This is too funny
     
  8. AZLawDawg

    AZLawDawg Oh, Oh, Oh!!

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    That's a nice one.
     
  9. Vigilant

    Vigilant

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    "We work at our jobs

    Collect our pay

    Believe we're gliding down the highway, when in fact

    We're slip sliding away."

    Those are the words that I intend to leave behind. I find them very sobering.
     
  10. scratchy wilson

    scratchy wilson Silver Member

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    A variation:

    "Look and see as you walk by. As you are now so once was I. As I am now you soon will be. Prepare for death and come follow me."

    How uplifting.


    Another apparently in Tombstone's Boot Hill Graveyard:

    Here lies George Johnson
    Hanged By Mistake
    1882

    He Was Right
    We Was Wrong
    But We Strung
    Him Up
    And Now He's
    Gone
     
  11. napp32

    napp32

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    There is no epitaph at all on this stone. Maybe it's written on the stone where they buried the rest of him. :dunno:

























    [​IMG]
     
  12. jtmac

    jtmac Señor Member

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    "Shot in the back by Buford Tannen, over a matter of eighty dollars."
     
  13. Menehune

    Menehune

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    This one is just down the road from my office!


     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2010
  14. 8-Ball

    8-Ball Old Soul

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    Russell J. Larsen buried in Logan, Ut.

    Two things I love most,
    good horses and beautiful women,
    And when I die I hope they tan this old hide of mine
    and make it into a ladies riding saddle,
    So I can rest in peace
    between the two things I love
     
  15. 8-Ball

    8-Ball Old Soul

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    Boot Hill Cemetery, Tombstone, Arizona

    He was young
    He was fair
    But the Injuns
    Raised his hair
     
  16. 8-Ball

    8-Ball Old Soul

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    Silver City, Nevada

    Here lies a man named Zeke.
    Second fastest draw in Cripple Creek


    Boot Hill Museum, Dodge City, Kansas

    Here lies the body of Arkansas Jim.
    We made the mistake, But the joke's on him.
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2010
  17. HandyMan Hugh

    HandyMan Hugh NRA Life Member

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    Read this one in a book of funny epitaphs.
    Here lies the body of Helen Trent
    she kicked up her heels and off she went.
     
  18. Glock-it-to-me

    Glock-it-to-me Catching liars

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    Go ask Alice, I think she'll know
    MC stands for "motorcycle club"
     
  19. Mnukedude

    Mnukedude Lurking

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    Outside of the Haunted Mansion in Disneyland:

    Here lies good 'ol brother Hewett
    We all know he didn't do it.
     
  20. 4TS&W

    4TS&W 2A RKBA 4EVER

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    Outlaw Motorcycle club gang???? that makes no sense.... :whistling: