Ebola A man returns from Africa feeling very ill. He visits his doctor, who immediately rushes the guy to the intensive care unit at the local hospital. The man wakes up to the ringing of a telephone and answers it. Weve received the results from your tests, says the doctor on the other end of the line. Bad newsyou have Ebola. Oh, my God, cries the man. Doc! What am I going to do? Dont worry. First, were going to put you on a diet of pizza, pancakes, and pita bread, says the doctor. Will that cure me? No, but its the only food well be able to get under the door.