close

Privacy guaranteed - Your email is not shared with anyone.

Drunk

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Oct 2, 2004.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

    Messages:
    64,670
    Likes Received:
    1,546
    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2001
    Location:
    Muskogee Ok.
    A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He
    stays until the bar closes at 2am, at which time he is extremely
    drunk. When he enters his house, he doesn't want to wake anyone, so
    he takes off his shoes and starts tip-toeing up the stairs. Half-way
    up the stairs, he falls over backwards and lands flat on his rear
    end.
    That wouldn't have been so bad, except that he had couple of empty
    pint bottles in his back pockets, and they broke, and the broken
    glass carved up his buttocks terribly. But, he was so drunk that he
    didn't know he was hurt. A few minutes later, as he was undressing,
    he noticed blood, so he checked himself out in the mirror, and, sure
    enough, his behind was cut up something terrible. Well, he repaired
    the damage as best he could under the circumstances, and he went to
    bed.
    The next morning, his head was hurting, and his rear was hurting,
    and he was hunkering under the covers trying to think up some good
    story, when his wife came into the bedroom.
    "Well, you really tied one on last night," she said. "Where'd you
    go?"
    "I worked late," he said, "and I stopped off for a couple of beers."
    "A couple of beers? That's a laugh," she replied. "You got plastered
    last night. Where the heck did you go?"
    "What makes you so sure I got drunk last night, anyway?"
    "Well," she replied, "my first big clue was when I got up this
    morning and found a bunch of band-aids stuck to the mirror."