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Double Entendres:

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by TBO, Feb 16, 2010.

  1. TBO

    TBO Why so serious? CLM

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    1. The ladies of the Walnut Street Mission have discarded clothes. They invite you to come and inspect them.

    2. It pays to remember your social obligations. If you don't go to other people's funerals, they won't come to yours.

    3. Traffic Sign: Slow Children Crossing.

    4. Druggist's Sign: We Dispense with Accuracy.

    5. Police authorities are finding the solution of murders more and more difficult because the victims are unwilling to cooperate with the police.

    6. Testimonial from an insurance firm: My husband and I took out a home insurance policy with your company. In less than a month our house accidentally burned down. I consider it a blessing.

    7. I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

    8. Prostitutes appeal to Pope.

    9. Public Service Announcement: Our X-ray unit will give you an examination for tuberculosis and other diseases which you will receive free of charge.

    10. Come to us for unwanted pregnancies.

    11. Lost: Samsonite Briefcase with Eyeglasses

    12. I cannot get sick pay. I have six children. Can you tell me why?

    13. Church Announcement: What is hell? Come to church next Sunday and listen to our new minister!
     
  2. G33

    G33 Frisky! CLM Millennium Member

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    Sounds like....
    :supergrin:
     

  3. armorplated

    armorplated

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    Old lines from "church bulletin bloopers."
     
  4. Roering

    Roering Sorting nuts

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    Police statement taken from the driver:

    "He was all over the road, I had to swerve many times before I hit him."
     
  5. Carrys

    Carrys Inquisitive

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    I voted Democratic and I'm smart.



    Or would that be more an Oxymoron?:whistling:
     
  6. TBO

    TBO Why so serious? CLM

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    Fixed

    :tbo:
     
  7. john58

    john58 BHO is a LIAR!

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    Come to our sale all bras are half off.
     
  8. Dennis in MA

    Dennis in MA Get off my lawn

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    Did you hear the one about the man with a wooden leg named Smith?
     
  9. Lone Wolf8634

    Lone Wolf8634 :):

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    Come on down, bring the kids, bring the wife and we'll dicker.
     
  10. TBO

    TBO Why so serious? CLM

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    A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!
     
  11. Dennis in MA

    Dennis in MA Get off my lawn

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    Did you hear that PeeWee Herman opened a dry cleaners in Florida? He called it Drop Your P. . . nevermind. Let's keep this thread open. :rofl:
     
  12. SheepleNoMore

    SheepleNoMore

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    Sounds like something from KARE :rofl::rofl::rofl:
     
  13. HollowHead

    HollowHead Firm member

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    A woman walks into a bar and orders a double entendre. So, the bartender gives it to her. HH
     
  14. john58

    john58 BHO is a LIAR!

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    So a double entendre gets together with a paramecium and listens to quadraphenia!
     
  15. MooseJaw

    MooseJaw NRA Lifer CLM

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    You were pretty hard on the Beaver last night.. :rofl: