Don't Believe A Word He Told You

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by swampsniper, Oct 6, 2003.

  1. swampsniper


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    Jul 20, 2003
    N.E. Florida in the swamp
    An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...
    Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
    Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

    Older Woman: Oh, I see.

    Officer: Can I see your license please?

    Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

    Officer: Don't have one?

    Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

    Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers

    Older Woman: I can't do that.

    Officer: Why not?

    Older Woman: I stole this car.

    Officer: Stole it?

    Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

    Officer: You what?

    Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the
    trunk if you want to see.

    The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to
    his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars
    circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car,
    clasping his half drawn gun.

    Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
    The woman steps out of her vehicle.

    Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

    Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen
    this car and murdered the owner.

    Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

    Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your
    car, please.

    The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty

    Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

    Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The
    officer is quite stunned.

    Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have
    a driving license.

    The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch
    purse and hands it to the officer.

    The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

    Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me
    you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that
    you murdered and hacked up the owner.

    Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.