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Don't Anger the medical folks!

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by earthworm, Aug 24, 2004.

  1. earthworm


    Likes Received:
    Aug 23, 2004
    middle Tennessee
    J6721 & Erich comment on wearing guns while being x-rayed in the
    'Another vote for Smartcarry' thread reminded me of a couple from my
    days working in the ER.
    1-An obnoxious drunk who'd been in a fight & was giving the ER staff
    a hard time needed a shoulder x-ray which I did & revealed the .25 auto in his shirt pocket.I suggested he remove his shirt or "anything he had on that might interfere with the x-ray" only to be rewarded with a good cussing.I shrugged,took him & the film back to the ER &
    invited the cop working security to view the film with me & the doc.
    ElDrunko left in handcuffs.
    2-Another drunk who'd caused a car wreck that virtually wiped-out an innocent family needed stitches for the +/- 2" cut on his forehead.He also had given the ER staff a hard time.The doc on duty sent to Surgery for a surgical staple gun & proceeded to staple the wound closed....without benefit of anesthesia. "Ka-chung" "WAAA!!!"
    3-A third obnoxious drunk was told "Look.You're going to get a shot.
    I have big needles,small needles,sharp needles & dull needles & the one you get depends on your attitude." He chilled.
    4-A guy came to the ER with 2 small stab wounds in his rear;one about 1" from the anus.His story was he'd picked-up a girl & while they were
    driving back to his apartment she stabbed him. ("Ookkaayy") While he was getting stitched he looked up & said "She sure fixed my *** didn't she?" & indeed someone had.
  2. Aquanewt


    Likes Received:
    Nov 13, 2001
    Baltimore, MD, USA
    Many years ago I smacked a Knucklehead right between his running lights with my nightstick, splitting him open rather well. Ended the fight he started as well. Anyway, we stopped of at the local hospital to get him a few stitches before he was booked and he starts to perform again. Cussing at the nurses, telling the doctors he's going to sue and generally being an ***. Old time doc walks in to the exam room and looks this jerk off in the eye and asks, Did this Officer (me) split you open? Jerk replies yes and that he's going to sue me too. Doc says that he's got enough silk to stitch for days and if the jerk doesn't calm down, the doc and I will race to see if I can split him open as fast as he can sew him up. Suspect looked at me, the doc and never opened his mouth again.

  3. subzerocop


    Likes Received:
    Mar 23, 2004
    If you're getting taken to a hospital for a DUI blood sample, don't be an Alpha Hotel. They just might miss the vein a few times. :)

    Also... if we need a urine sample, comply. You don't want to know what a "catether" (sp?) does. Trust me. :)
  4. TrooperDan


    Likes Received:
    Aug 30, 2000
    Wellington FL & Raeford NC USA
    A bunch of years ago when I was at Little Creek for amphibious warfare training I hear about a drunk marine that had gotten busted up in a bar fire. The navy corpsman couldn't get the guy to stay still and shut up long enough for the corpsman to stitch him up. He finally catch the drunk still long enough to stitch his ear to the canvas cot! "There, I guess that will make you hold still!" The corpsman was facing a court marshall but I was all for giving him a medal! Never did hear the "rest of the story".
  5. Nowhere Man

    Nowhere Man

    Likes Received:
    May 22, 2003
    North Port, FL
    In the middle of arresting a very intoxicated, obnoxious, smelly, P.O.S, she informs us she has overdosed on Tylenol.;f

    Off to the ER we go. When she refuses to drink the syrup (hehe), out comes the greased up rubber hose. Three of us hold her down while the ER Doc shoves the hose up her nose and into her stomach. (She's screaming, crying, swearing, pleading and gagging the whole way.)

    Next comes the saline water down the tube.

    Best part was, when she starts barfing, it comes out the tube.;z

  6. trcubed

    trcubed Senior Member

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    Jan 23, 2001
    Kuhnigitdale, NC
    My bro-in-law did part of his residency at one of the Indianapolis ER's. The police brought in a guy who the K9 had pretty much eaten alive. When the officer removed the cuffs (so BIL could sew up under the arm), the BG swung at BIL, which prompted BIL to punch him square in the face. Stitched him up w/o Novocaine and then set the nose back in place. The officer 'didn't see a thing.'

    Also had a 'guy' come in with a golf club (not just the grip but the entire club) sticking out of a body orifice...