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Do you know me?

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Mar 8, 2004.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

    Messages:
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    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2001
    Location:
    Muskogee Ok.
    During a trial, in a small Missouri town, the local prosecuting
    attorney called his first witness to the stand. She was sworn in,
    asked if she would tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but
    the
    truth, on the Bible, so help her God.

    The witness was a proper, well-dressed elderly lady, the Grandmother
    type, well spoken and poised. The prosecuting attorney approached
    the woman and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?'" She
    responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams.I've known
    you since you were a young boy and frankly, you've been a big
    disappointment to me. You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people
    and talk badly about them behind their backs. You think you're a
    rising big shot when you haven't the sense to realize you never will
    amount to anything more than a two-bit paper-pushing shyster."
    "Yes, I know you quite well."

    The lawyer was stunned. He couldn't even think for a few minutes.
    Then,
    slowly backed away, fearing the looks on the judge and jurors' faces,
    not to mention the court reporter who documented every word. Not
    knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked,
    "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

    She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley
    since he was
    a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, has a bad drinking problem. The
    man
    can't build or keep a normal relationship with anyone and his law
    practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he
    cheated on his wife with three different women. Yes, I know
    him."

    The defense attorney almost fainted and was seen slipping
    downward in his chair, looking at the floor. Laughter mixed with
    gasps,
    thundered throughout the courtroom and the audience was on the verge
    of
    chaos.

    At this point, the judge brought the courtroom to silence,
    Called both counselors to the bench, and in a very quiet voice said,
    "If either of you morons asks her if she knows me, you're going
    to jail."