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Difference between Democrat, Republican and Southern Republican?

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by lonewolf01, May 24, 2004.

  1. lonewolf01

    lonewolf01

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    Question:
    How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans, and
    Southern Republicans?
    Answer:
    Pose the following question:
    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
    children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes
    around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the
    knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock 23, and you are an expert
    shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What
    do you do?

    Democrat Answer:
    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question. Does the
    man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have the appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to Wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to confer with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

    Republican Answer:
    BANG!


    Southern Republican's Answer:
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    click....(sounds of reloading a fresh magazine).
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.
     
  2. CZ-75A

    CZ-75A

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  3. lonewolf01

    lonewolf01

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  4. CZ-75A

    CZ-75A

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    Why be sorry? You're just a little behind the curve. :)
     
  5. Glenn E. Meyer

    Glenn E. Meyer

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    Republican Answer:
    BANG!


    Southern Republican's Answer:
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    click....(sounds of reloading a fresh magazine).
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.

    -----------

    Southern republican needs to get to the range more. I also note that the Southern Republican is using a politically correct ten round magazine (if it is a full size Glock).

    Twenty rounds for one guy - sheesh! Duck everyone, the Southern Republican is a shootin! agin!

    PS - I go shooting with Southern Republicans all the time, thus I can tease them.
     
  6. Creeper1313

    Creeper1313 Aequitas

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    Willam Hung's Answer: SHE BANG SHE BANG SHE BANG SHE BANG
    (sounds of criminal stabbing the knife into his own brain through his ear canal)
     
  7. pangris

    pangris Moderator

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    Creeper - now THAT is a new take on an old joke.
     
  8. nothing

    nothing Advertisement

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    Actually I believe the correct form for a Southern Republican is actually:

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    click....(sounds of reloading a fresh magazine).
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.
    Nice group daddy!
     
  9. KB4IFS

    KB4IFS MOLON LABE

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    I must be a Damn Republican Yankee because I only shot the sucker once! Took too much time to read........because I can.:cool:
     
  10. tinagrrl

    tinagrrl

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    Gee, I thought it was "a Southerner" -- and after two 17 rd mags, 12 year old Daughter says: Nice group Daddy, were them those Gold Dots?