Democrats in Heaven

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Jager1, Oct 23, 2003.

  1. Jager1

    Jager1 UtilitarianSect Lifetime Member

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    Jan 3, 2003
    Phoenix, Arizona
    The Democrat's soul arrives in Heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
    "Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see an elected official around these parts, let alone a Democrat, so we're not sure what to do with you."
    "No problem, just let me in," says the Democrat.
    "Well, I'd like to but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one day in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity," St Peter says.
    "Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven," says the Democrat.
    "I'm sorry but we have our rules," St Peter says.
    And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell.
    The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a beautiful green golf course with a big sign saying, "Welcome to Hell."
    In the distance is a luxurious club house and standing in front of it are all his Democrat friends and politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and elegantly garbed in fancy evening dress.
    The Democrats run to greet him, hug him, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people when Bill Clinton was president.
    They play a friendly game of golf and then amble over to the club house dining room to dine on lobster and caviar washed down with champagne.
    Also present is the Devil, who really is a very friendly guy and is wearing a Hillary for President button. He is a wonderful host and joins in the dancing and telling jokes.
    They are having such a good time that, before the Democrat realizes it, it is time to go.
    All the other Democrats give him a big hug and wave while the elevator doors open. "Come back soon," they all laughed.
    The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.
    "Now it's time to visit Heaven," he says.
    So the the Democrat joins a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp, and singing.
    They are having a good time but, for a Democrat, it was very boring and the Demmocrat felt really threatened when the group started praying. "This is too much like being in a sectarian church," the Democrat grumbled. Before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
    "Well then, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose where to spend eternity."
    The Democrat reflects for a minute, then answers trying to be politically correct: "Well, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but after thinking it over, I think I would be better off in Hell."
    So Saint Peter smiles and escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell.
    Now the doors of the elevator open and the Democrat is in the middle of a barren wasteland covered with garbage and discarded Elect Hillary Clinton for President signs. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash, putting it in black bags, moaning and groaning.
    The Devil comes over, glares at him, lays his arm on his neck, and hands him a stack of garbage bags.
    "I don't understand," stammers the Democrat. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and club house and we ate lobster and caviar and danced and had a great time. Now all there is a garbage dump and my Democrat friends look so miserable."
    The Devil looks at him, laughs his evil laugh, and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted for us!"
  2. 40Cal

    40Cal Modurbator

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    Mar 7, 2001
    Tampa, FL

  3. potshot


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    Mar 31, 2002
    truer words are rarly spoken;w ;N ;6