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Democrat, Republican or Texan

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by matt3310, Jul 2, 2004.

  1. matt3310

    matt3310 who me???

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Arkansas
    DEMOCRAT, REPUBLICAN, or TEXAN
    _
    ___ You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges... You're carrying a Smith &Wesson and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
    ___
    What do you do?
    _
    ___ Democrat's Answer: Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun and what kind of message does this send to society and my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me or would he just be content to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days to try to come to a conclusion.
    _
    ___ Republican's Answer: BANG!.....
    _
    ___ Texan's Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.. click... click.......
    _
     
  2. zaggie

    zaggie

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    Location:
    South Bend, IN
    How do you tell the difference between democrats, republicans and Southerners? Pose the
    following question:


    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a
    dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams
    obscenities, and raises the knife and charges.


    You are carrying a Glock .40 and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches
    you and your family. What do you do?


    Democrats Answer:
    * Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
    * Does the man look poor or oppressed?
    * Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
    * Could we run away?
    * What does my wife think?
    * What about the kids?
    * Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
    * What does the law say about this situation?
    * Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it?
    * Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and
    to my children?
    * Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
    * Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
    * If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
    * Should I call 9-1-1?
    * Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this
    a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
    * This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to
    come to a consensus.



    Republicans Answer: - BANG!


    Southerner's Answer: - BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    BANG! click... (Sounds of reloading.)
    * Wife: "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving, what do you kids think?"
    * Son: "Mom's right Dad, I saw it, too." - BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click. - Daughter: "Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver
    Tips?"