Democrat or Southern Republican?

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Truckee, Aug 9, 2005.

  1. Truckee

    Truckee Aging Goat

    Messages:
    613
    Likes Received:
    44
    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2005
    Location:
    Shenandoah Valley
    Are you a Democrat? Republican? Or, Southern Republican?
    [found on the net]


    Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans And Southern Republicans?

    Here is a little test that will help you decide.

    The answer can be found by posing the following question:

    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small daughters. Suddenly, a BG with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock .40 and you are an expert shot.

    You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

    What do you do?

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~! ~~
    Democrat's Answer:

    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

    Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?

    Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

    Where is his sense of community?

    Could we run away?

    What does my wife think?

    What about the kids?

    Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

    What does the law say about this situation?

    Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

    Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

    Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

    Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

    If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

    Should I call 9-1-1?

    Why is this street so deserted?

    We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed and shrub day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

    This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.



    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Republican's Answer:

    BANG!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



    Southern Republican's Answer:

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! {x16} the slide locks back.....(sound of the mag being shoved up the magwell).

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! {x15} the slide locks back.

    Daughters: "Nice grouping Daddy!"