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Definitions for Today's World

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by Conan1, Mar 10, 2010.

  1. Conan1


    Likes Received:
    Dec 19, 2009
    In a bunker somewhere in KY
    DEFINITIONS for today's world

    Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die rich.
    Nurse: A person who wakes you up to give you sleeping pills.
    Marriage: An agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
    Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine water power.
    Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either
    Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
    Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
    Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
    Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
    Father: A banker provided by nature.
    Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
    Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
    Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills.
    Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.
    Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
    Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
    Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
    Etc: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
    Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
    Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.