close

Privacy guaranteed - Your email is not shared with anyone.

Dead Duck

Discussion in 'OX & Alex Forum' started by scratchy wilson, Apr 4, 2012.

  1. scratchy wilson

    scratchy wilson Silver Member

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2005
    Messages:
    1,025
    Likes Received:
    5
    A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

    After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

    The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"

    "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet..

    "How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

    The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

    The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

    The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

    The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..

    The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$1500!" she cried, "$1500 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

    The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $1500."
     
  2. tous

    tous GET A ROPE!

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2001
    Messages:
    32,990
    Likes Received:
    32,069
    Location:
    Plano, Texas, Republic of

  3. Free Radical

    Free Radical Miembro Antiguo CLM

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2005
    Messages:
    9,988
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Four Corners
  4. bigskinny

    bigskinny

    Joined:
    May 14, 2010
    Messages:
    562
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Central Illinois
  5. RedHaze

    RedHaze Handgunner

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2009
    Messages:
    2,397
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    SE WA
  6. COWBOYSHOOTER

    COWBOYSHOOTER Oh dear....

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2000
    Messages:
    3,128
    Likes Received:
    16
    Location:
    I run Bartertown
    Thats some good funny right there!:wavey:
     
  7. Bullman

    Bullman Deranged Deputy

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2003
    Messages:
    13,217
    Likes Received:
    271
    Location:
    SW Virginia
    That duck is probably just pining for the fjords:supergrin:


    Like that cat scan part:rofl:
     
  8. Dinky

    Dinky Numpty

    Joined:
    May 22, 2003
    Messages:
    9,706
    Likes Received:
    18
    That joke belongs in the OAF....:rofl:
     
  9. ghostwn

    ghostwn Ghost Member

    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2002
    Messages:
    278
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    SoCal
  10. Chesafreak

    Chesafreak

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2011
    Messages:
    2,145
    Likes Received:
    96
    Location:
    Chesapeake, VA