Dan was walking in the jungle...

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Bonk, Aug 23, 2003.

  1. Bonk

    Bonk Millennium Member

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    Nov 8, 1999
    Dan Rather, Jesse Jackson, Cokie Roberts from National Public Radio and a
    Marine were hiking through the jungle one day when they were captured by

    They were tied up, led to the village and brought before the chief.
    The chief said, "I am familiar with your western custom of granting the
    condemned a last wish. Before we kill and eat you, do you have any last

    Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowlful of hot,
    spicy chili."

    The chief nodded to an underling, who left and returned with the chili.
    Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die content."

    Jesse Jackson said, "You know, the thing in this life I am proudest of is
    my work on behalf of the poor and oppressed. So before I go, I want to sing
    "We Shall Overcome" one last time."

    The chief said, "Go right ahead, we're listening." Jackson sang the song,
    and then said, "Now I can die in peace."

    Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape
    recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe
    someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end."
    The chief directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder, and Roberts
    dictated some comments. She then said, "Now I can die happy."

    The chief said, "And, Mr. Marine, what is your final wish?"

    "Kick me in the ass." said the Marine.

    "What?" said the chief. "Will you mock us in your last hour?"

    "No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass." insisted the

    So the chief untied the Marine, shoved him into the open, and kicked him
    in the ass. The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a
    9mm pistol from his waistband, and shot the chief dead. In the resulting
    confusion, he leapt to his haversack, pulled out an M16, and sprayed the
    cannibals with gunfire. In a flash, the cannibals were all dead or fleeing
    for their lives.

    As the Marine was untying the others, they each asked him, "Why didn't
    you just shoot them? Why did you ask them to kick you in the ass?"

    "What!?" said the Marine, "And have you *******s call ME the aggressor?!?"
  2. Guest

    YEAH BABY!!! ;?

  3. quinch

    quinch Turgid Member Millennium Member

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    Aug 9, 1999
    That's great!
  4. nyredneck

    nyredneck كا&

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    Oct 22, 2002
    N43 07.671 W75 17.747